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TWINS ARE NOW THE LOUTS! HISTORIC NAME CHANGE MADE IN A SURREY PARKING LOT

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Player of the game: (May 13/12) Ryan Lafleur

4 HUGE innings of relief

Countdown to 2012 TCI first pitch (May 17/12)

 2011 TWINS FINAL LEADERS

Batting Avg :        Home Runs :        Rbi :                   Total Bases :        
Barkley  .500         Tupper    2           Kool      10            Krenzel    21          
Krenzel  .378         Barkley    2           Tupper   9             Kool        19         
Willard  .360         3 guys     1          2  guys    6             2 guys     17         

 

Hits :                     Runs :                  Stolen Bases :          OPS :

Krenzel   17          Pilgram   8           Brisbin       7            Barkley    1.480

Kool        14         Brisbin     8           Krenzel      5            Tupper     .959

Lafleur    13         3 guys      7           2 guys       4             Willard    .884

 

 

TWINS CAREER LEADERS

Batting Avg :          Home Runs :        Rbi :                   Total Bases :         
Barkley    .483        Tupper    3           Kool         20          Kool         35

Slaugher  .385        Barkley    2          Tupper     15          Buble       34     

 Tupper    .367         6 guys    1          Krenzel     15          Lafleur     34         

Hits :                       Runs :                  Stolen Bases :          OPS :
Kool          30        Brisbin      20           Brisbin       17        Barkley       1.317
Buble        28         Krenzel    15            Krenzel     11         Tupper         .972
Krenzel     27          3 guys     13            3 guys        4         Slaughter     .929

 

 

2011 TWINS AWARDS

 

Wes Maxwell Top Pitcher Award : Sam Smith      

Previous winner : Adam Tupper
Smith was a stalwart for the Twins on the hill this year, mowing down batters like Ron Jeremy does large-chested blondes. Smith on the year had 74K’s in only 48 IP, and an ERA of 3.00 after giving up over a touchdown a game the previous year (7.54 ERA). “The Wild Thing” did his best work down the stretch, coming up huge for the Twins in their 3 biggest games of the year, wins against Delta, the Jerks, and Newton. Best of all, Smith seemed to have learned what a clock is in the off-season, as only once all season as the games starting pitcher did he arrive within 15 minutes of first pitch

 

Don Mitchell Top Batter Award :   Jeff Krenzel       
Previous winner : Brad Slaughter
Jeff had a huge year at the dish for the Twins, leading in hits, doubles, and batting average amongst the players who prefer baseball to slopitch (cough cough Barkley). Krenzel definitely won’t be winning any awards for personal hygiene, but that doesn’t typically matter as off the field he dedicates all of his time to X-Box and running a trump-tight Fantasy Football league. Instead of wasting his time at Great Clips, Krenny better spent his time studying film of LMBA pitchers, which turned out to be a huge recipe for success, particularly when compared to the offensive output of some of his more clean-cut teammates

 

Lorne Upsdell Rookie of the year Award:  Kyle Haas  

Previous winner : Adam Tupper

Haas had an MVP-caliber year in his rookie season in the LMBA. After being pestered by 2011 LMBA GM of the Year Shane Kool week after week at each and every basketball game they played together, Haas finally agreed to sign on the dotted line. He must have had some depressing times, considering the prior year he was literally crossing paths with Ken Griffey Jr and Jay Buhner at spring training, then moving along in 2011 to share the clubhouse with such 5-tool prodigies as Spencer Smith and Graham Dunne of the Twins. In some countries, that's known as a reality check.  Haas was also able to overcome the huge distraction of having his first-born daughter Oaklyn just before the TCI (which Twins management is still steaming about), and was a major part of the 5 to 11 win turnaround the Twins made this season. LMBA scouts have been left drooling at the proposition of Haas’ potential if he ever is able to secure employment that doesn’t have him mowing 16 lawns, building 2 ponds, and digging holes halfway to China immediately before each game

 

Leo Gauthier Most improved :    Jeff Krenzel 
Previous winner : none
Krenzel made huge strides at the plate this season, raising his average from .217 to .378 year over year. Surely, the improvement cannot be attributed to his off-season regime, so speculation is swirling over Performance-Enhancing substances being a new part of his diet. Krenzel’s hat size has reportedly gone from a 7 to a 7 ¾ over the past year, which in his defence he attributes to his head growing everytime he clicks onto the stats section of the Twins website. The monumental growth in head size may be also be attributed to the ever-growing rats nest found under his Twins cap, which has reached godawful proportions. Either way, asterisks aside, congratulations to Mr. Krenzel on the award, and the Twins wish him best of luck in keeping the Pigeons away from setting up shop on top of his head

 

Vaughn Nelson MVP award:    Sam Smith / Kyle Haas   
Previous winner :  Adam Tupper
After careful deliberation, the biggest award of all has been presented to co-winners Sam Smith and Kyle Haas. The 2 proved to be the backbone of the squad in the 2011 season, often pitching the full 9 innings between the 2 of them. With this combination present, the Twins were nearly unbeatable, as they knew they only had to score a couple runs to win the game. The 2 combined for 110 K’s with only 42 walks, a 2.6/1 K/BB ratio, very strong at the LMBA level. The dynamic duo also pitched 90 of the squad’s 133 innings this season. Haas put up better statistics by a small margin, but Smith’s performance down the stretch, coupled with his improvement over the prior year, was enough to earn him a share of the MVP award. Most remarkable of all, Smith was not even on the Twins radar prior to the 2011 season, as no team member had heard from him all offseason. Smith showed up at the Twins first preseason game and even offered himself up a team batboy or fluffer ; Little did Twins management know the diamond in the rough they had on their hands.  Jeff Krenzel may be perturbed by the MVP selection, but if he disagrees he should consider throwing out more than 1 baserunner every 2 seasons

 

The season also sparked some potential nicknames for 2012 :

Drew Brisbin : The “Say Goof Kid”   (Willie Mays – “The Say Hey Kid”) 
Jeff Galer : “The Splendid Splinter”  (Ted Williams)
Graham Dunne :  “Mr. February”   (Reggie Jackson - "Mr October")
Jeff Krenzel :  “Joltin’ Jeff”   (Joe Dimaggio - "Joltin' Joe")
Matt Barkley :  “Let’s play zero”  (Ernie Banks – “Let’s play two”) 
Chris Kaumi :  “The Crime Dawg”   (Fred McGriff - "The Crime Dog")
Ryan Lafleur :  “Man-Ram”   (Manny Ramirez)
Devin McKee :  “The Sultan of Swatting Air”   (Babe Ruth - "The Sultan of Swat")
Shane Kool :  “The Colossus of Lout”   (Babe Ruth – “The Colossus of Clout”)
Chris Kaumi :   “Black Chris”    (Jack McDowell- "Black Jack")
Spencer Smith :  “The Coke Machine”   (Phil Coke – actual nickname)
Justin Nichol  :  “The Coquitlam Peach”   (Ty Cobb – “The Georgia Peach”)

 

 

 

 

 Week 14 :

Twins defeat North Delta Irish 8-0 behind 19 K's and 1 BB by the 4 man pitching staff.  Twins are now 10-4, going into battle Newton Royals for potentially the division crown, depending on how the Fraser Valley Mavs vs Delta Dodgers Sunday twinbill turns out. Lots left to be decided in the final day of the regular season...

 

WEEK 7

After their first week atop the standings the Twins were feeling good heading into a controversial week 7 matchup vs. their cross river rivals the Aldergrove Giants. This game was like a re-run from the past few games with the boys in blue falling behind early. Twins ace Kyle Haas didn’t have his best stuff early but would settle in giving his club a chance to win. Something they have come to expect from him as he has stepped up time and time again this season. Haas would hand the ball to Sam Smith after 5 with his club trailing 4-1. Smith would continue to dominate the opposition going 4 solid innings giving up 0 runs on 4 hits and 7 k’s. The Twinkies would hang around a chip away until they put up a 5 spot in the 6^th to take a 6-4 lead. They would extend their lead in the 7^th when leadoff man and second baseman Drew Brisbin would score from first on an RBI double to the right center field gap by shortstop Ryan Lafleur. In the 8^th the Twins would tack on another 2 runs to secure the victory and take top spot in the entire LMBA 18+ division.

 

 

On a side note with the home team up 7-4 in the 8^th and the Giants threatening with the sacks drunk, Twins platoon man Spencer Smith would catch a fly ball with none out and throw a laser to the dish to double off Giants catcher McLeod. When asked of his right fielders play Twins skip Ron Washington proclaimed, “ that’s the best play I’ve ever seen the kid make and it possibly saved us the game, this almost makes up for all the mutt s#@t he’s pulled this year!!!” when asked by another reporter if this great play may earn the man they call “diamonds” a start in right field in a weeks time he abruptly slammed his fist on his desk and shouted, “HELL NO !!!!” In any case Smith will have to continue this play whether it be in a starting roll or coming off the bench.

 

 

 

 

This weeks Kirby Puckett award was presented to Twins shortstop Ryan Lafleur. “GI” as his teammates know him had a rock solid performance going 2-3 with a single, double, a walk and 1 RBI. “GI” has been red hot as of late raising his average in the neighbourhood of his career avg. as a Twin. Hopefully he and his teammates can keep up the timely hitting as their schedule doesn’t get any easier with the Richmond A’s rolling into town for a 3pm Saturday matchup at Larry Walker Field against the first place club.

 

 

With the clubs recent success fans have been reportedly having difficulty scooping up tickets for Saturdays contest. The game is officially a sell out but tickets have been seen on ebay and craigslist for as much as $250 a piece. A fraction of the price of a Canucks playoff ticket and in some peoples opinion for twice the entertainment value. Rumour has it CBC moved it original Saturday night game 5 slot to avoid conflict with the Twins in fear they may not sell out Rogers Arena.

 

 

Stay tuned for week 8 results as your Hometown twins look to extend their winning streak to 5 games and keep that “WINNING” mentality heading into the second half of the season.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

WEEK 6

 

After coming off a win vs the Newton Royals in week 5, the twins were up against a very strong Delta Dodgers squad in week 6 on the road. To make matters worse they were missing their two best players, Ryan Pilgram and Jeff galer. Both of whom were galivanting around Las Vegas on a paid leave form the organization. Rumor has it they just needed some quality time away with their significant others. The Twins would cough up a couple runs early to the Blue Machine on some questionable defensive plays.  Staff leader and cy young candidate Kyle Haas went 5 solid innings for the Twinkies giving up only 3 hits but found his team trailing 4-1. Needless to say the defensive needs to FIO if they want to continue winning. Bench Boss Ron Washington would take the ball from Haas and hand it to the man they call "wild thing" Sam Smith in the 6th. Smith was a bit unlucky in his first inning of work giving up 4 runs on 5 hits, all of which were bleaders. The kid would settle in nicely after that   providing the arm his team would need to hang around and mount a charge. And just that they did !!! In the 8th the road team would send 8 men to the plate and score the maximum 6 runs for that inning all with nobody out to tie the game. Smith would strike out the side in the bottom half of the 8th to keep the contest notted at 8. As if it were fate the Twins would score 1 more in the ninth giving thier first place foes only one more chance at redemption. After the leadoff runner reached base on an error Smith would record 3 straight outs to preserve the win and sole possession of first place in the division. Players were seen hugging and crying on camera in the clubhouse after the dramatic victory. When asked what he thought of his Rbi double and his teams comeback first baseman Shane Kool proclaimed, "This is the best day of my life!!!! I'm going to Disneyland!!!" At that very moment Manager Ron Washington emerged out of nowhere to deliver a heavy backhand to the face of his player while publicly reminding his team they could easily be 4-2 and that there are still 10 games to go. 

 

On my way to Washington's post game presser I saw Twins catcher/utility man Jeff Krenzel being presented with the Kirby Puckett Award givin to the player of the game. His Staff could not describe how elated they were with chiqoutami's play behind the dish. On the offensive side of the ledger, Krenzel went 2 for 4 in the game with a single, a double and 2 rbi, leaving some to suggest he may just be the straw that stirs the drink. Lets wait and see what he brings to the table in week 7's PITT DAY matchup when the Giants come to town for a 230pm contest at Larry Walker Field.      

WEEK 5

WEEK 5

 

After a 5 week stint in rehab your Twins beat reporter Drew Brisbin is back and healthier than ever.  Over the past 5 long weeks I have found a new realtionship with god(rather than peyote) and have made a promise to myself that I would not let the organization down like I have done in the past. With that being said I apologize to the fans of my column and appreciate your understanding during this personal matter.

 

Now on to the things that really matter.......................the sunday morning musings of the baseball world.

 

Heading into week 5 the Twins were looking like a completely different team from last season. The team burst out of the gates and won 3 of 4 including two impressive road wins vs the Expos and the Knights. Needless to say they had a confidence about them going into their game vs the Royals at their home field.  The home team fell behind early in the contest when the visitors scored a 1st inning run on an error by the defense. however, the heart of the twins order would come right back and answer with a 2 spot of their own.  Twins starter Justin Nichol would settle in nicely going 3 innings giving up just 1 earned run.  He would give way to a budding young up and coming star in the LMBA Kyle Haas with the Twinkies up 4-2. Haas surely didnt have his best stuff on the day but managed to grind it out through 5 solid innings giving up only 2 hits and 2 earned runs. The The boys from ridge went into the 9th inning up 7-4 with Sam Smith looking for the save.  Twins Manager Ron Washington must have felt confident putting Smith in this role as the kid they call "WILD THING" has been anything but as of late. Smith continued to do what he has been doing so far in this young season, striking out the first batter. He would give up a base knock but rebounded from that by getting a routine ground ball and his defence picked him up with a double play to secure the victory. 

 

On a side note.....rumour has it out of the clubhouse after the game that the Kirby Puckett Award (giving to the POG chosen by the previous weeks winner) was won by Brad Slaughter. "The Sargeant" as they call him would have been my choice as well. The veteran continues to swing a hot bat going 2-3 in the game adding 2 more doubles to his total.  Not only his offfence but the players and his manager could not stop raving about the wiley play he made on D in left field to keep a runner off 3rd and subsequently saving his team a run.  You can tell  a guy has been around a long time when he makes a play like that.  Outstanding baseball smarts.

Who will win the Kirby Pucket Award in week 6 ? ......Well i guess thats up to the Sarg.

 

Stay tuned for updates from the 2011 Twin Cities Invitational which starts on Wed the 18th.