Feb 24/18
9:51 pm

St Benedict Saints
America's Team




Team Ticker:
  • We are not good
  • Happy Mother's Day to All the Moms
  • We are looking to sign Pitchers, catchers, infielders, and outfielders
  • "But Dad, that guy can't catch" "Leave Kurt Alone"
  • Beer Bash July 22nd at 7:00 pm. Tell any girl you know
Countdown to Home Game vs Lonsdale
(Jun 11/17)

What the hell do we have to do to get ranked?  Undefeated through a month with 1-run wins against Belle Plaine and Webster.  The slight is being felt by our team.

Who has more RBI?  Tokes in 10 at-bats in 2017 or T Bone in 102 at-bats in 2016

What 5 things are most likely to happen on a fly ball hit to Kurt Hynes?
1.  He camps under it, ball hits his glove and bounces out
2.  Trips over his own feet, hat flies off, ball lands in front of him
3.  Bobbles it, but secures catch while falling clumsily to grass
4.  Pretends he loses it in sun
5.  Catches it clean

Why is Noah Miller pitching so much?  When will be the first game he doesn't pitch?

Did somebody tell Doc that the distance from Mound to plate is still 60 feet 6 inches?

32 players in dugout, 30 game appearances, 1 catcher throw-up at home with kids asking Dad are you OK, 1 Mothers Day road game where players were glad Mom came, 1 Mothers Day road game where Mom is wondering what the bleep she was doing there.

What will happen more?  Rip getting picked off a base or Rip stolen bases

No that was not the umpire playing football with Yuri, Kurt, and Alex after our Saturday game.  That would be a conflict of interest

Beer Bash Tickets are in Players Hands.  SAVE THE DATE, July 22nd 7:00-9:00 at Union Hill Bar.  Socially accepted "Be a Bad Person Day".



Posted May 10/17 - OffSeason Notes

*We have signed Michael Lambrecht, Jon Huss, and Eric Steinhoff.  Not sure why though.

*Dart is getting married.  Not sure why though

*We have released Jacob Molitor, Devyn Ulibarri, and Nick Slavik.  The drug and the painter are not playing this year.  Devyn has joined Jordan, we wish all three the best

*We do not have a catcher or healthy pitcher on our roster.  We have many DH's which make us the favorite in the DRS Hammer Throw competition

*Some team rules have changed.  We will no longer have our starting rightfielder wear the flag and stand on the pitchers mound.  We will no longer sell gasonline soaked hotdogs.  We will, however, continue to issue Freezies to kids returning foul balls.

*Roster Breakdown:  3 Heitkamps, 3 Huss, 2 Oakes, 2 Hartmans, 3-over 40's, 8-too young to drink, 5-Married, 18-on bad path, 3- Real Baseball Players, 11-mascots, 1- player who doesn't own a glove

*We will be filing an official grievance with DRS over not hosting a Mother's Day Game.

*A Thank You to our fans for putting up with our non-sense.  You guys are the Best.

Posted May 10/17 - 2017 Roster

#1 Nick Heitkamp- Watch how few times he looks at the CF after he doesn't make a play in Left or Right. 
#2 Jeremy Heitkamp- Is fun to manage when things don't go smoothly when he pitches
#3 Andrew Huss- Weight and Production have gone same direction in last 4 years
#4 Derek Karsky- Can answer the question of "What do you do when somebody tries to rob you?"
#5 Paul Hentges- Likes to bounce pitches and hit catcher in the flesh
#6 Steve Weiers- Spending his summer in Hawaii, Antigua, Barbados, and Jamaica
#7 Nick Riesgraf- Needs a haircut
#8 Jacob Wolf- No Words do this justice
#9 Cullen Bahn- If you take his homeruns divided by his stolen bases, the answer will always be zero
#11 Michael Lambrecht- Stevie Dubs is going to try and shave his head
#12 Michael Pauly- Thinks that spending a summer in Duluth on the Lake is a good thing 
#13 Noah Miller- Only player in better shape than a year ago
#15 Jon Huss- Stevie Dubs is Surely going to try and shave his head
#16 Brendan Heitkamp- Out of all the guys that can legally "Carry", we have him
#17 Mitchell Martin- Has perfected staying composed and rational on social media
#19 David Hartman- Has waived his self-imposed, "I'll never catch again" rule. 
#20 Martin Huss- Nobody pimps their own batting practice pitches better
#21 Tanner Oakes- Will be trying to play the field throwing overhand
#22 Josh Malz- Needs to have a long conversation with Dart about the future
#26 Cole Minnick- I'm not naming names, but if you feel there are too many mosquitos around, might want to check in with him
#27 Neighbor Steve- We miss you very much
#28 Matthias Duevel- Coming off a No-Hit Region Start vs Union Hill
#29 Scott Eischens- Proved it wasn't impossible to go 6 weeks in a row without a hit last season
#32 Kurt Hynes- Still threw up at Target Center
#33 Chris Hartman- Like you've never uprooted your life to become a cook 7 hours away before
#34 Wade Olsen- Has perfected life.  He is the guy we'd all trade lives with
#42 Tyler Oakes- Please come back
#74 Eric Steinhoff- Must've lost a bet.  Nobody willingly comes to St. Benedict


Welcome to the St Benedict Saints New Home Page.

Click on Admin on the left to edit your web page.

Please note that you can easily change the size and look of the team name you see at the top of your page.


Lineup Cards, Dugout Charts, Pitching Charts, Free Team Pages, Free League Pages
Powered by - free team & league websites