Cobras Blank Tri City Shark 6-0, Advance To 2nd Weekend Undefeated
The Cobras remained perfect in the 2015 Class A State Tournament with a 6-0 victory on Sunday night over TriCity Shark. Starter J.E. Urseth battled through 500% humidity to throw 8 innings of scoreless ball. The night was marked by wonderful defense by the Cobras, including but not limited to Tyler Adams catching a warning track fly and running face first into the wall at full speed. Adams would be fine, sporting a cut on his chin that will make him look much tougher than he is. Offensively, the Cobras pushed 6 runs across on a total of 8 hits. The Snakes were very aggressive on the basepaths and forced a handful of Shark errors in the process. Tyler Patterson hit a big double and then through some nifty baserunning forced the Shark shortstop to misplay a ball. Alex Gustafson would be called upon to close out the game and would do so in short order.
After the game, the Cobras feasted on pulled pork sandwiches provide by former Cobra Tyler Miller. Beer was acquired on a Sunday through an elaborate donation process.
The Cobras next game will be Saturday at 3pm against the winner of the Monday night matchup of Minnetonka and Air Freight. Mark it on your calendars, we hope to see you out at Red Haddox on Saturday!
Cobras and NW Orioles Recreate 91' World Series Game 7
The Cobras were victorious in their first game of the 2015 Class A State Tournament on Saturday with a 1-0 win over the NW Orioles. The game was a pitchers duel all the way through, with excellent defense played by both teams. Tyler Beck went CG Shutout Saturday going all 10 innings in a Jack Morris-esk performance. He just needed a manly moustache to complete the performance, but Beck would likely need 5 years to grow the facial hair. The Cobras had plenty of chanceds to score throughout the contest, blasting 4 leadoff doubles in the game. None of them would score as the Orioles starting pitcher would get out of several jams. The Cobras would finally score a run in the bottom of the 10th. Tyler Adams would reach on an error. Kevin Truax would bunt him over to second base. Matt Borman would be intentionally walked to setup the force. Mason Reinhart would single to left field just out of the reach of the CF. With 1 out and the bases loaded, Sean Borman would hit a fly ball to left over the head of the drawn in LF. The Cobras would mob Adams as he reached home and then dump Sean Borman with a cooler to celebrate his latest heroics. All of it very similar to the 1991 World Series game 7.
The Cobras face Tri City Shark on Sunday at 7pm at Red Haddox. We hope to see you there!
Rain Out Thursday Causes Saturday Game Time Change
The late game of Thursday's single elimination round was rained out. This causes all games to be backed up one time slot...and now the Cobras play at 4pm on Saturday. Hope to see everyone there.
Cobras Head To State With 11-0 Win Over Metro Merchants
The Cobras clinched their 12th Class A State Tournament birth with a 11-0 victory over the Metro Merchants on Saturday. The Cobras offense stayed hot, scoring 5 runs in the first inning and never looking back. Starter J.E. Urseth went CG Shutout Saturday, and painted the black much better than the local artist painting on the other side of the fence. The Cobras play their first state tournament game on Saturday at 1pm at Red Haddox in Bloomington.
Here are some notes from the game...
- Kevin Truax hit two doubles and continued his hot streak of actually sliding into bases. He also had a wonderful defensive play that also resulted in a slide.
- More foul balls were hit in this game than in the history of baseball.
- J.E. Urseth threw an excellent and efficient game, never allowing a runner past second base.
- Matt Germar had a momentary lapse resulting in him coaching a Metro runner back to first on a pickoff.
- Pat DeLaHunt showed off his new hair cut for a wedding in 2 weeks and was fined appropriately.
- Mason Reinhart continued as the Cobras' grill master and also ordered pizza.
- Jake Krause put earmuffs on his child to swear at people in court.
Offense Leads Way, Cobras Beat Merchants 14-2
The Cobras took game 1 of the 2nd round playoff series with the Metro Merchants in decisive fashion on Wednesday. The offense was on display early and often as the Cobras scored 4 in the first, and 3 in the 2nd and 3rd inning. Tyler Beck started on the hill and worked through some bumps to earn the victory. Zach Munsterman and Alex Gustafson threw in relief to secure the victory. Here are some other game notes.
- Kahtan Al-Kaissy and Tyler Patterson hit mega home runs. Sean Borman crushed a hanging curve into the sculpture garden but it was called foul due to the vapor trail messing up the umps vision.
- Jake Krause had a 4 hit night. His son Marek was in attendance and promptly pooped himself in awe of his father.
- Tyler Beck hit umpire Billy Ryan (turned the other way) in the arm on a potential double play ball to second. Billy popped 2 ibuprofen and a shot of Jack and continued umping.
- Matt Borman rolled his ankle afer a beautiful hit to left and a shuttle run between 1st and 2nd. He is day-to-day but will probably milk it for a while.
- Gabe MacDonald got hit in the knee by a pitch. Luckily the home plate ump had been spooning him all night and was able to make it better.
- Kevin Truax and Jake Krause were involved in a skirmish with a local biker gang pregame. KT promptly bailed on Krause who was standing up for him. Luckily, Kyle the biker was cool calm and collected.
The Cobras next game is Saturday at 11AM at Parade. The Cobras have a chance to clinch the series and head to state with a victory. We hope to see you there.
Cobras to face Metro Merchants in PNL Playoffs
The Cobras 2nd round opponent in the Park National League playoffs is set: the Metro Merchants. The Merchants won their first round series with the Minneapolis River Rats. Come check out the first two games of the series: Wednesday at 7pm and Saturday at 11am. All games are at Parade Stadium.
Cobras Iron 9 Falls To Dundas 11-3
The Cobras sent 9 guys down to Dundas on Friday for the final regular season game before playoffs. It was hot and sweaty...and after the sun went down the steroid using mosquitos came out and were unbearable. The baseball wasn't great...The Cobras battled but eventually the Dukes proved their depth was the key factor. Eventually the scoreboard would read 11-3 and everyone would go home.
The Cobras next game is Wednesday at 7pm as they beging the 2nd round of the playoffs. Opponent is TBD.
Cobras Win Park National League Title With 11-1 Win Over Patriots
The Cobras won their 2nd Park National League title in 3 years on Tuesday night as they defeated the Minneapolis Patriots by a 11-1 score. Tyler Beck took the hill for the Snakes and was dominant again, allowing a single run in a complete game effort. The Cobras offense was on display on Tuesday and had Mike Castle operated the hits number on the scoreboard it would have read somewhere in the 15 region. 3 runs would be scored in the first as the Cobras came out hot. Tyler Adams showed off his cheetah speed and innate ability to never pull a baseball. Nearly every Cobra had a hit on the evening including several reserves that pinch hit. Alex Gustafson and Brandon Budnick did a great job of pinch running and not getting hurt. Beck would finish strong, striking out the final batter of the 2015 PNL regular season. The Cobras would celebrate by dousing Manager Matt Germar with water after he himself was getting ready to douse Beck with water.
In the Parking Lot the mood was festive. Mason Reinhart did some interpretive dancing hovering over a citronella candle. The Cobras quickly ran through their beer supply and headed to Green Mill in Uptown. Matt Germar bought a round of shots and the patrons at the bar were confused why a grizzly adams dude was shouting and buying shots on a Tuesday night. Overall it was a great night and a great regular season. The Cobras head to the PNL playoffs with a first round bye and a top seed. They will play their first playoff game on Wednesday, July 29th at 7pm.
The Cobras have a playoff tune-up game on Friday at 7:30pm against the Dundas Dukes in Dundas, MN. Come down and enjoy some quality baseball!
Cobras Go 1-2 In Cold Spring
A select group of Cobras made the trip up to Cold Spring for the annual Nick Bell Classic last weekend. The Cobras would lose on Friday and Sunday to the St.Cloud Beaudreaus and Cold Spring Springers respectively, last years runner-up and state champion in Class B. On Saturday the Cobras Iron 9 beat the Brainerd Bees 6-3. Here are some highlights from the weekend.
- Kahtan Al-Kaissy had an interesting weekend. Had a sombrero (3Ks) Friday, missed the game Saturday for the Kenny Chesney concert and hit a home run on Sunday. We call this the 'Hick Cycle'.
- Zach Munsterman continued his streak of pitching well and recieving zero help. The Cobras are scoreless in their last 17 innings when Munster Street is on the hill.
- Pat DeLaHunt threw 5 innings and picked up the win on Saturday. Funk was razzed hard by his friends on the Beaudreaus and wore a ball hard in the chest fielding at 2B. 364 days until next years hockey tryouts.
- Tyler Patterson played 3 different positions on the weekend. He did all of this while wearing stirrups with the socks too short underneath. Showing some extra skin for the ladies.
- J.E. Urseth picked up the game-winning RBI on Saturday and then closed the game for the 2 inning save. He also threw his putter 100 feet during golf on Saturday after a missed putt.
- Gabe MacDonald hosted the Cobras in his house in St. Joseph for the weekend. In appreciation, he was allowed to play 3rd base on Saturday. He also swore much less than normal this weekend.
- Sam Bunnett made all 3 games on the weekend despite having to work on Saturday. His reward for his dedication: lots of booze and falling through the top bunkbed to the ground below almost onto Matt Germar.
Overall, it was a fun weekend with some OK baseball played. Lots of room for improvement, but the Cobras had a blast up in the St.Cloud area.
The Cobras refocus and turn their attention to their final league game of the season. The Cobras will capture the PNL crown with a victory on Tuesday against the Minneapolis Patriots. Game time is 7pm at Parade Stadium.
Cobras Fall 14-10 to Elko Express
In a very hot and humid night, the Cobras traveled south to Elko to play the #1 Ranked Class B team in the state. A short bench and some injuries had the lineup card looking a little interesting but the Cobras would fight through it. The Cobras would get on the board first as Sean Borman would single in Tyler Patterson for a 1-0 lead. Unfortunately, Patterson would be hit in the head with the throw to home and would be forced to leave the game with a MMA style face laceration and bump. The Elko offense would respond with 9 runs in the first 4 innings...ultimately leading 9-1 at one point. The Cobras would not mail it in. The Snakes got 3 runs in the top of the 5th on a John Wengenroth 3RBI double with two outs. The Express would tack on a single run in the 5th to make it 10-4. The Cobras would not be denied. 6 runs would be scored in the top of the 6th inning to tie the game 10-10. Unfortunately, the Express would score the final 4 in the bottom of the 6th on a variety of weird hops, bloops and a couple of misplayed balls. Alex Gustafson made his offensive debut for the Cobras, spanking a double to RF and then stealing 3rd uncontested. That hit will be sure to inflate his ego for the rest of his Cobras career. Elko would close out the Cobras and take the victory 14-10.
While it goes as a loss on the record, the Cobras take some positives away from the contest. Making a big comeback on the heels of 4 games in 4 days against a solid squad can keep the momentum for the Snakes. The Cobras have Thursday off before playing in the Nick Bell Classic in Cold Spring this weekend. First game is Friday night at 8:30 against the Class B runner up in 2014, the St. Cloud Beudreaus. Enjoy the day off Cobra Nation!
Beck Goes CG Shutout Tuesday, Offense Powers to 8-0 Victory Over Lakers
The Cobras won a huge Park National League contest on Tuesday with an 8-0 shutout win over the Minneapolis Lakers. Tyler Beck took the hill once again for the Snakes and was on-point firing a complete game 3-hit shutout. The Cobras would open up the scoring in the 2nd inning as Sean Borman would lead off with a booming double to LF. Sammy Bunnett would single home Borman to make it 1-0. Tyler Patterson would also add a 2 out 2RBI double in the inning to left center to make it 3-0 Snakes. The Cobras would add 4 more runs in the 5th inning, taking advantage of some walks from the Lakers starting pitcher. A lone run would be plated in the 7th after a Matt Borman double scoring Tyler Adams to finish the scoring at 8-0. The win propelled the Cobras into 1st place in the PNL standings with one game to be played.
In the parking lot the mood was great and the circle was very tight. Tyler Beck grenaded himself on a fine, showing he has a long way to go in his legal career. Gabe was fined for yelling "2-3-5!" during the game. Everyone made excuses for why they would not make the Elko game on Wednesday.
The Cobras will take a banged up and depleted roster to Elko on Wednesday before a day off Thursday. First pitch is scheduled for 7:30pm at Fredrickson Field in Elko-New Market. Ibuprofen will be administered around 6:30pm.
Sean Borman Goes Hulk Smash vs Baseball 365
In a resumed game after an ejection / umpire fiasco...the recap will be summarized by this portrait of Sean Borman hitting a 450 foot walk off 3-run homer. This is an actual still frame of the swing.
The Cobras next game is Tuesday against the Lakers at 8:30pm. This game has huge playoff seeding implications. We hope to see you at the yard.
Cobras Blank Patriots on 40 Day
The Cobras took to the field on Sunday for their annual 40 Day Celebration...a celebration which in recent years has always started with a game against the Minneapolis Patriots. The temperature and the humidity were off the charts causing Matt Germar to sweat profusely writing the lineup card. J.E. Urseth took the hill and tossed 6 scoreless innings for the Snakes, scattering a handful of singles. The Cobras scored their first run in the 2nd inning and tacked on 3 in the 3rd. The final two runs of the game came in the bottom of the 6th on a double by Matt Borman. Brandon Budnick made a pinch running appearance and bragged about his high school baserunning abilities. Alex Gustafson would come in an pitch an interesting 7th inning but ultimately induced a 1-6-3 double play to end the game.
In the parking lot the Cobras cracked open a handful of 40 ounce beers and feasted on PJ pizza and wings. Gabe MacDonald and Kahtan did Edward Fortyhands willingly. Gabe was found face down in the lawn later in the evening. Kahtan does not remember getting home...but luckily it was by a designated driver and not himself. Eddy and Elias from the latin league joined in the Cobras "Celebracion" and attempted to recruit multiple players for their team. Overall, there were less Cobras participants than normal...but good times were had either way.
The Cobras next game is Monday when they resume the suspended contest with Baseball 365. 3-3 game, 1 out and a man on 2nd for the Snakes in the bottom of the 7th. Lets finish it.
Cobras Smash Blue Sox 13-2
The Cobras brough out their whoopin sticks on Thursday as they beat the Minneapolis Blue Sox by a score of 13-2 in 5 innings. Offense was the story of the game for the Snakes as they plated 3 runs in the first, 4 in the 2nd and 5 in the 3rd inning to set the tone. Matt Germar started on the hill for the Snakes and rain delayed for 3 innings of 1 run ball. Brandon Budnick and Alex Gustafson cleaned up in relief. Everyone hit well for the Cobras on the night. Matt Rink made his triumphant post-wedding return to the field. He had a nice catch in RF, a hit and a walk...and most importantly was the beer batter for the game.
In the lot the Cobras drank Bud Diesel and feasted on yet another night of PJ pizza courtesy of Mason and his gimpy foot. Mason's foot is getting better and he now walks with a pimp gimp...which is about normal for him. Look for Mason to return to the lineup soon.
The Cobras have their annual Par 3 Golf Tournament on Saturday at noon at New Hope Golf Course. If you are interested in golfing please visit the Golf Tourney 15 page on our website for more information. The Cobras return to action on Sunday at noon against the Patriots. Sunday is also 40 day...so plan your designated drivers accordingly.
Battery Powers Cobras Over Pub 2-1
The Cobras won a very important league game on Wednesday with a 2-1 decision over Lyon's Pub. Tyler Beck took the hill for the Snakes and tossed another complete game gem. After allowing a single run in the first, Beck would settle down, pitch from the stretch sometimes with no one on, and toss 6 shutout innings to finish the game. The Cobras were lead offensively by catcher Gabe MacDonald who had two clutch RBI in the game. Gabe struggled to find a way to incorporate his normal swearing after his at bats, and the women and children in the stands thank him for that. Kahtan Al-Kaissy, fresh off a max fine softball game the night before had two hits as well in the contest. The Cobras D was solid all night long. Matt Germar was surprisingly tranquil during the game citing that he was "all about positivity today". The Cobras reclaim the Pub v Cobras title belt.
In the parking lot the Cobras had a small crowd but grilled hard anyways. J.E. Urseth was assigned "Grill Master" duties due to Mason's injury and was criticized greatly. Court got heated as J.E. was fined multiple times and Kahtan was Max Fined for missing the ESOX game due to a product recall, email fiasco and softball game. Kahtan was also fined for being pissed he only got 2 at bats in a game and wished he could hit in the bottom of the 7th despite the fact that we were winning.
The Cobras next game is Thursday at 8:30pm against the Blue Sox.
Cobras Blast Past ESOX 7-0
The Cobras took to the field after a long holiday hiatus to face the Edina ESOX on Tuesday night. A particularly testy Matt Germar wrote out a lineup card void of a handful of starters due to various reasons. Some were married, some were out of the state for work, some had car troubles, some had cut their foot after taking off their Aqua Socks on Big Island, and some just forgot there was a game at all. John Wengenroth would take the hill for the Snakes tossing 3 innings of no hit ball. Several balls were hit extremely hard on the evening but none left the yard. The Cobras took a 2-0 lead with a burst in the 3rd inning. Tyler Adams would hit an opposite field double in the 4th inning to plate the 3rd run for the Snakes. Brandon Budnick would relieve Wengenroth in the 4th and toss 3 innings of scoreless relief, inducing two double plays. One of those double plays was courtesy of a Mike Lenertz web gem on a ball in the hole, quickly flicking the ball to 2nd baseman J.E. Urseth who threw to 1B Sam Bunnett. Bunnett would step up in the 7th inning with the bases loaded, in the beer frame, and launch a 3RBI double to right center field. Pat DeLaHunt would close the door (already shut) and seal the 7-0 shutout for the Snakes.
In the parking lot the Cobras would pack a very tight circle full of Cintas Rug Coverage. Tyler Patterson would be fined for coaching 3rd base exactly like Germar (poorly). A hobbled Mason Reinhart would tell the story of taking off his Aqua Socks, cutting his foot, asking for several opinions on his cut and then refusing an ambulance because he had already called Uber Cab to take him to the hospital. Kahtan Al-Kaissy could not be reached for comment as to his lack of an appearance at the game. Gabe was fined for swearing multiple times during the game in front of hundreds of children playing soccer and their mothers. The Cobras discussed the upcoming Cobras Golf Tournament and 40 Day Celebration. Matt Germar claimed to have 9 hole sponsors lined up...while a very cynical Mike Lenertz muttered "show me the money" under his breath.
The Cobras next game is Wednesday against league rival Lyon's Pub. 6:15pm at Parade Stadium. It's time to get the belt back.
Cobras Fall To Angels 3-2 in Extras
The Cobras dropped an extra inning contest against the Minneapolis Angels on Wednesday night by the score of 3-2. Tyler Beck took the hill for the Snakes and was his dominant self, keeping the Angels offense to only 2 runs in 7 innings. The Angels would plate a run in the first inning to set the tone. The Cobras would answer back with a run in the top of the 2nd on a Gabe MacDonald hit/error up the middle scoring Sean Borman. Unfortunately, Tyler Patterson would get caught in a rundown between 3rd and Home and the rally would be snuffed out. The Angels would take the lead again with a single run in the 5th inning as Beck limited the damage. Down a run in the top of the 7th Sean Borman would tie the game with a mammoth solo home run off the new scoreboard in RF. The Cobras would head to extra innings but ultimately fall on a walk off fielders choice with the runner safe at first by a step on a potential inning ending double play. Overall, it was a very competitive game featuring two great pitchers in this league. The Cobras fall to 7-3 in Park National League play.
In the parking lot Jake Krause brought out some rug coverage, an item sorely missed this season. Jobu needs to bless the Cobras bats as the hits have been inconsistent recently. Mason brought a bunch of food to grill, but forgot the grill so PJ Pizza was ordered instead. Matt Germar was excited to see that Mike Lenertz was not in the parking lot to hog all of the garlic sauce.
The Cobras are off for the holiday weekend before resuming with a Tuesday game against the Edina ESOX. Reminder to all that the Cobras Par 3 Golf Tournament is on July 11th. For more information and to register email Mike Lenertz at email@example.com.
Cobras Go 3-1 in SpamTown Challenge
The Cobras headed south to the home of SPAM and oddly-timed stoplights, Austin, MN for the 2015 SpamTown Challenge. The Cobras would finish 3-1 on the weekend and would finish just shy of the championship game on Sunday. It was a pretty good weekend of baseball...here is the recap.
Beck Deals, Cobras Top Austin Blue Sox 4-1
The Cobras won the first game of the SpamTown Challenge with a 4-1 victory over the Austin Blue Sox. The original start time for this contest was 10PM, which is late for any game, but that would be delayed 2 hours due to rain and an extra inning game before them. First pitch would be just before Midnight. Tyler Beck took the hill and threw his normal complete game...ho hum..dominant performance. Gabe MacDonald would hit his first home run of the season in the 5th inning and put the final two runs on the board for the Cobras. He would also be fined for a 1/2 way up the line bat flip. The final out would be recorded at 2AM. The Cobras headed back to the hotel, and since the bar was already closed, proceeded to drink in the parking lot until roughly 5AM.
Urseth / Reinhart Go Big Tyne Against Westmont IL
The Cobras shook off a little hangover and sleep deprivation to cruise past the Westmont IL RedSox Saturday. J.E. Urseth took the hill for the Cobras and tossed a complete game, allowing only a single unearned run in the 7th. The main highlight of the game came from Mason Reinhart who waited on a hung curveball and blasted it over the left field fence. He and his latin style mustache took his time to admire the bomb and slow jog around the bases. The opposing pitcher would find him later that night at the bar and congratulate him on his bomb saying "I'm not even mad you pimped it". This game was over in roughly an hour and fifteen minutes. Cobras were 2-0 in the tournament.
Wengenroth Leads Cobras To Comeback, Munster Street Vultured Hard
The Cobras would play a very strange game against the Rochester Royals on Saturday afternoon. The final game of pool play would determine which team would advance to championship Sunday. Zach Munsterman brought his dicing shoes...firing 9 shutout innings for the Cobras. John Wengenroth made the best catch many Cobras have ever seen with a full out jump/dive on the left field line. Even the Rochester fans, who rarely had anything but negativity to say to the Cobras, took time out of their busy schedules to cheer for Wengy. The Cobras would find a variety of ways to not score during the first 10 innings. The game would remain scoreless into the 11th inning, where texas speed up rules placed runners at 2nd and 3rd with no outs to start the inning. Rochester would score 4 runs in the top of the 11th. The Cobras would respond with a 5 run outburst to win the game. Sean Borman hulk smashed a ball off the right center fence that everyone thought was gone. Later in the inning, local hero John Wengenroth laced a walk off double to left center and was doused in water in celebration. Alex Gustafson would celebrate his vulture performance of 2 innings, 4 runs and a win. The Cobras celebrated with a pig roast at Marcusen where Matt Germar high fived nearly everyone in attendance. The Cobras headed back to Torges Live (the hotel bar) to pick up the pieces from the Minnetonka Millers who had turned the bar into a vomitorium.
The Snakes Come Up Just Short Against Austin
The Cobras faced the home team Austin Greyhounds on Sunday at 2pm in the semi finals of the SpamTown Challenge. The games had been pushed back 2 hours due to hangovers and rain from the night before. Alex Gustafson took the hill for the Snakes and threw 4 good innings of work. Matt Germar would dust off his jersey and throw two innings of scoreless relief. Unfortunately, the Cobras offense could not string enough together to take down the host squad. Matt Borman and John Wengenroth had big doubles in the game. The Cobras only reward for the tournament was an ice cream truck visit in the parking lot before they were leaving.
The Cobras want to thank the Austin Greyhounds for putting on a great tournament. We hope to be back next year and look forward at making another run at a tournament title. The Cobras only game this week is Wednesday against the Angels. 6:15pm at Parade Stadium.
Big First Inning Surges Cobras Over Eagan
The Cobras picked up their 18th win on the season with a 7-4 victory over a very good Eagan Bandits squad on Wednesday night at Goat Hill Park. Manager Matt Germar gathered the troops for a "Show me your war face" type pregame speech. Well, the troops responded with 5 runs in the first inning. Sean Borman laced a opposite field 3RBI double over the left fielder who was played 4 steps off the grass against the hulk man himself. Not a good idea. John Wengenroth battled through 5 innings on the mound for the Cobras. Kevin Truax made his pitching debut in 2015 and looked very good. Look for him to milk his soreness and sit out the next 5 games. Tyler Beck came in for the close and pumped cheddar. 7-4 final score.
In the parking lot the Cobras enjoyed some IPAs and Coors Light pounders in celebration. Wengy and Tyler Patterson were involved in a very interesting fine involving leaving a phone in someones (truck) bed. The truck part came after the fact. Tyler Beck was fined for coaching first base in fair territory during the game because he was talking to the first baseman. The bugs were really bad, so once the sweep was secured in the parking lot, the Cobras headed home.
The Cobras next games are in the Spamtown Challenge in Austin, MN. This 16 team tournament is no doubtedly the best tournament all summer. The Cobras first game is Friday at 10PM (Yes, 10PM) against the Austin Blue Sox. Enjoy a Spam Burger and some good baseball...come on down.
Cobras Power Over Merchants 9-2
The Cobras picked up their 7th league victory on Monday with a 9-2 score against the Metro Merchants. Zach Munsterman took the ball for the Snakes and fought out of a couple early jams to earn the victory. The Cobras would open up with 6 runs in the first inning on a variety of hard hit balls. Zero baseballs left the yard, but a handful found the ivy. Mason Reinhart hit a mammoth double to right center even after the Merchant outfielders were instructed to play directly in the gaps. Sam Bunnett mashed a double to right that was caught in the ivy. Manager Matt Germar freaked out and instructed Sam to run all the way around the bases despite the umpire making the ground rule double call right away. A small oxygen tank was wheeled out to 2nd base to assist Sam in recovering. Pat De La Hunt and Tyler Beck would pitch in relief for the Snakes. David Reyes would be caught on camera actually smiling. Cameraman J.E. Urseth would note that a picture of Reyes smiling is as rare as catching a MewTwo in Pokemon Snap. Matt "Gunz" Youngquist would make a surprise appearance and cheer the Cobras on to a 9-2 final score.
The Cobras would take to the lot after the victory and enjoy the "spoils of war". In this case it was leftover pizza and cookies from Reyes' brothers' grad party, provided by David's mother. We thank her for providing the Cobras with the sustinence they needed to sweep in the parking lot. Kahtan Al-Kaissy would be fined multiple times...Gabe MacDonald got very jealous and decided to grenade his only fine to keep up in the fine standings.
The Cobras next game is Wednesday against the Eagan Bandits. 7:00pm at Goat Hill Park.
Cobras Top Stockmen's 6-3
The Cobras took to South St. Paul on Sunday to face the Stockmen's Irish and ended up with a solid 6-3 victory. In lieu of a mega writeup, here are some notes...
- John Wengenroth threw 6 innings and earned the win for the Snakes. The first 3 innings he could not miss a spot. After that it was spotty.
- Kahtan was mega hungover and it showed as he space cadet'ed through the game. Mega fines coming.
- Matt Borman had 4RBI including a bases loaded 3RBI double. He also had about 8 fly balls to him during the game.
- Sean Borman had the other 2 RBI for the Cobras. NBA JAM quote coming..."Heating Up!".
- Matt Germar was hit in the shin pregame by Kahtan, causing a huge lump and a bad attitude.
- Tyler Patterson earned a sombrerro after his initial at bat was a double to CF. Not quite the Ryan Klesko...but close.
- J.E. Urseth's mom made pickle rollups and tortilla wraps. Everyone that stayed enjoyed the grub.
- Alex Gustafson earned the 3 inning save. The last time he threw 3 innings he missed a month of games. Expect Gus back in late July.
The Cobras next game is Monday at 6:15pm against the Metro Merchants. Parade Stadium is the venue. See you there.
Cobras Lose Tight One to Lakers 4-3
Your favorite reptilian baseball club took on the Minneapolis Lakers in a league matchup between two of the best Class A teams in the state. The air at Parade Stadium had a thick, playoff scent to it. Both starting pitchers came out firing strikes and putting zeros on the scoreboard. As the home team, the Lakers kicked off the scoring with 2 runs in the third inning, and the Cobras scrapped together a response with 1 run in the top of the fourth.
The tension would increase in the bottom of the sixth as the Lakers looked to add some insurance runs. With bases loaded and 2 outs, Cobras’ starter Tyler Beck induced what should have been an inning ending ground ball to 2B Mike Lenertz. At about that moment, it occurred to Mike that there hadn’t been the patented “Parade Hop” the stadium is well known for yet this game. Lo and behold the next bounce sent the ball careening into the outfield, plating 2 more runs.
In the top of the seventh, Coach Matt Germar rallied the troops for one last push. The Cobras lineup strung together a handful of base hits as it seemed no one wanted the honor of beer batter (last out brings beer for the next game). With the bases loaded, 3B Tyler Patterson would drive in 2 runs on a single. However, the Cobras would fall just short as the scoring would end there.
The Snakes would like to congratulate long time teammate and all-around-good-guy Matt Rink and his fiancé Kelly Turnau as today is their wedding day. Cobras will slither over to South St. Paul to play the Stockmen’s Irish at McGuire Field on Sunday at 2:00pm. Fathers welcome.
Cobras Finish 2nd In The Quamba "Romp In The Swamp" Tournament
In what can only be described as an eventful weekend, the Cobras came up just short of securing a championship at the first annual "Romp in the Swamp" tournament in Quamba, MN.
The Cobras opened up with their first game on Friday night against the Chisago Lakes Bulldogs. Tyler Beck took the mound and was best described by the Chisago Lakes' twitter feed after the game..."Cobra Pitcher Dominant". Beck threw a complete game shutout, allowing only 1 hit and striking out 15 batters. Gabe MacDonald had a great game behind the dish, throwing the ball over everyones head repeatedly. Gabe also came up a foot short of a slide at home but managed to score anyways. Overall, it was a good opening game with a wonderful performance by Beck.
The Cobras then took to their campsite, "The Back 40" of Quamba Mayor Gordon Gullickson's estate. The Cobras enjoyed the mayor's hospitality and submitted their votes for mayor of the year. Matt Germar took the first night's snoring contest title. Kahtan was fined for calling Lenny the right-handed version of Joe Mauer.
Saturday was filled with shock, awe, trajedy and a big Cobras comeback. Saturday AM, Manager Stan Peterson and the Quamba Cubs lost a member of their family at the ballpark. Out of respect we will leave the details out. The Cobras extend their deepest sympathies to Stan and his family for their loss. The Cobras responded the only way they knew how, by helping Quamba with their tournament. J.E. Urseth and Tyler Patterson ran the grounds crew between games getting help from Matty Borman and Mike Lenertz. Baseball finds an interesting way to bring us all together.
The games went on. Saturday's games featured a 13 inning, texas-speedup filled marathon game and a game featuring the strangest ending ever known to man. With two outs in the inning and down a run, the East Bethel Bandits decided to attempt to steal home to tie the game. The runner would score as the pitch could not be handled cleanly...but the runner on second would not slow down and would score the winning run as the ball was being retrieved by the catcher. A walk off double steal of home to tie and win the game. Unreal.
The Cobras would end up walk off winners on Saturday against the Monticello Polecats. The Polecats are a skunk...as told to us via Mayor Gordon. John Wengenroth would throw a complete game for the snakes. Defense was not on display as a number of errors allowed the Skunks to take an early lead. The Cobras would battle back brining the score to 4-3 in the 6th. The Skunks would again score on a pair of errors bringing the score to 6-3 entering the bottom of the 7th. Cobras kill skunks...as is the natural order of things. The Cobras would score 4 runs in the final inning without an out being recorded. Sammy Bunnett, J.E. Urseth, Matt Germar and Mike Lenertz would all reach base via single and score to win the game in walkoff fashion. Germar would get a little excited and Mason Reinhart would deliver the dagger with an RBI single. The game would finish at 12:30AM.
The Cobras would head to the championship game on Sunday against the East Bethel Bandits. Hackenmuellers wings fueled the Cobras squad and got them ready to battle in the big game. Matt Borman would make a pregame steak on the campfire but then eat a DQ Chicken Finger basket instead. The game itself would be a major letdown for the Snakes as errors came early and often. The Cobras bats also were fairly silent, with the exception of John Wengenroth who came 6 inches from a HR to CF. The Cobras would come up just short, falling 5-4 to East Bethel, finishing second in the tournament.
We would like to thank Stan Peterson and the Quamba Cubs for their hospitality over the weekend. It was a really fun weekend of baseball. Mayor Gordon was awesome and we thank him for allowing us to camp out on his land. We look forward to heading to Quamba next year to (hopefully) bring the title back to Minneapolis. Quinn Peterson spins some mean music on the turntables.
The Cobras return to Park National League play on Tuesday against Baseball 365. Game time is 8:30pm at Parade Stadium.
Cobras Rained Out Vs Patriots - Make Up TBD
The Cobras travel this weekend to Quamba, MN for the 1st annual "Romp in the Swamp" tournament. We arent sure what that means...but we are eager to find out. Word is that Matty G is renting a pop up camper. Let the good times ensue.
Cobras Win Staring Contest 6-1 Over Rats
Amid boiling temperatures and a thin lineup, the Cobras offense lay dormant on a rock sunning itself for 5 innings of 0-0 baseball. Zach Munster Street held the rats to 1 run in a complete game effort to earn the win. Neither team would twitch an eyelid until the sixth inning when the Cobras finally broke through for a score. Up 1-0 heading into the bottom of the sixth, with weather threatening certain doom on everyone in attendance, Mr. Street strode bravely to mound. The Cobras would earn a quick 2 outs, but following a throwing error and well struck double, the game was tied 1-1 as the Cobras twitch back.
Then it happened, the Rats blinked. 1B Sammy Bunnett lead off the top of the seventh and final inning with a booming double to right center, followed by a base hit in a 2 strike count by C Gabe MacDonald moving Bunnett to third. SS Mike Lenertz drove in what would become the game winning RBI with a sacrifice fly to center field. Then some other stuff happened and Mason hit a grand slam, basically footnote material. Great job to ZMS dicing up the rats for the win. Usually Snakes eat rats whole, but it’s the thought that counts.
- During the early stages of the game, the Snakes broke away to attend a thrilling debate between LF Mason Reinhart and Coach Matt Germar on which actually came first, the short throws to the cut-off man or the torn labrum. Though it put the “chicken or the egg” argument to shame, no result was reached and the team returned to the action.
- It was so hot for the start of the game, veteran 2B Kevin Truax shunned his mandatory arm sleeve policy, displaying some disturbingly white appendages through his uniform. Once the clouds arrived and the temperature dropped below 94 degrees, he promptly changed back into his usual sleeved appearance. For that we all thank you, Kevin.
- CF Matt Borman tried his hand at meteorology, predicting “golf ball size hail and rain for days in an hour” as the game was about to begin. Of course, it sprinkled for about 10 minutes in the sixth inning, refreshing both teams and then let up. After the game Dave Dahl rode up in his weather van and handed him his card, stating “That was some fine weather terrorism there, kid. Call me when you’re ready for a career change.” Congrats to Matt!
- After the game, Mason Reinhart celebrated his grand slam by grilling up Hackenmuellers wings (provided by Coach Germar) and greasy cheeseburgers. Thanks Mase, my reimbursement check is still in the mail, I don’t know why it’s taking so long!
- Alex Gustafson showed off his new motorized scooter, claiming “I’ve done like 3 wheelies already.” Several elder gentlemen were drawn to the scooter, and Gus, asking if he could take them for a ride. Gus refused.
Cobras play the Minneapolis American Pie Wally World Bubba Gump Patriots at 6:15 on Thursday at Parade. Neither Bubba Gump nor the Patriots have sanctioned the use of the corporation’s name in this posting and Wally World is a fictitious theme park.
Cobras Go 1-2 in Elko / New Market Tournament
The Cobras headed south for the Elko / New Market Tournament last weekend and had a weekend filled with 3.2 beer and mixed results on the field. The Cobras would defeat the host New Market Muskies on Friday night by the score of 11-1. The tide would then turn as Bloomington would come back to defeat the Cobras 8-7 Saturday on a walkoff double in the 9th. Sunday would not be fun-day as a very odd game would result in a 18-5 defeat. Here are some highlights...
New Market Muskies
- Mason hit a grand slam...held the pose...flipped his bat...and was timed with a 36 second jog around the bases.
- Matt Borman would be hit with 2 pitches in the exact same spot. The resulting bruise would trend on twitter briefly. He then hit a home run.
- Tyler Beck fought a tight lower back to pitch a complete game. He would then be carded while trying to buy beer.
- Matt Germar was welcomed back to New Market, his first amateur team. He would join the host squad at the bars after the game and require lodging from their head coach.
- Mike Lenertz would nearly lose a finger in the fence gate. He would earn landscape duty after complaining that his fingers hurt.
- Kahtan Al-Kaissy would hit a 420+ foot home run to center field. The ball went 80% up the mega tree in center field. We will call this tree Treebeard.
- Tyler Adams hit a oppo bomb neary seconds after Kahtan said he never hit bombs.
- Mason hit another bomb and popped the chain.
- J.E. Urseth would have a double off the wall robbed by a specatcular wall-scaling catch by the Bloomington CF.
- About 15 runners were left on base for the Snakes. Bloomington would win on a walkoff double in the 9th that was nearly caught on a dive by LF Tyler Adams.
- Matt Germar started on the hill and DH'd himself for himself. He was quickly ejected in the game after a horrible call by the umpire.
- J.E. Urseth would hit a 2 run home run in the 6th inning. He would do the Ric Flair walk after touching home despite being down 3 runs at the time.
- Kahtan Al-Kaissy would come in to pitch the 8th inning...throw really hard...and give up a bunch of runs including a walk off grand slam for the 10 run rule.
- Mike Lenertz did "the Nike route" at first base on a double. He was also fined for fraternizing with the locals during court.
Overall, it was a fun weekend despite the outcome of a couple games. At least we didn't drink beer outside the fence of a tournament that is supposed to be a fundraiser. We look forward to returing to New Market in 2016.
Offense Stays Hot, Drops A Dirty Dozen On The Merchants
The Cobras won their 5th in a row on Thursday in a very late game at Parade Stadium against the Metro Merchants. Game time was pushed back due to an 11 inning game right before them. J.E. Urseth took the hill for the Snakes and faced the best man in his wedding Big Dave Laukkonen who threw for the Merch. Urseth would throw 5 innings, scattering a few hits but allowing 0 earned runs. The Cobras would score 1 run in the first and 1 in the second before erupting for 6 runs in the 4th inning. Sean Borman had a 2 RBI double and Mason Reinhart would crush a 3 RBI Triple just off the glove of the Merchants LF near the wall. The Cobras defensively would turn 3 double plays in the game, despite a heavy dew causing every baseball to become a pool toy. Tyler Patterson would cap the night with a big 2 RBI double to left field in the 7th. He would earn the Beer Frame however as he was doubled up trying to score on a grounder to first base. The rare "Beer Runner" award is now a real thing. Zach Munsterman would throw the 6th and 7th inning for the Cobras, allowing 2 runs and causing him to say "I need my hair back". Final score 12-3 Cobras.
In the parking lot the Cobras feasted on PJ pizza ordered multiple times and subsequently cancelled by Gabe MacDonalds fat fingers on his phone. Matt Germar was very demanding as to what music was played in the circle (he does not understand how Pandora works). Some banquet beer and cheese balls were left by the Angels squad on the hood of J.E. Urseth's car and were very much so enjoyed. Mason Reinhart explained that he orders pizza or grills after each game because "he sees a business opportunity with fat people".
The Cobras play in the Elko / New Market Tournament this weekend. First game is at 6pm Friday against the host New Market at their home field.
P.S. - Sam Bunnett crushed a big home run to RF in the 7th inning. The Cobras webmaster did not forget this...but he just wanted it to look like he purposely left him out (silent treatment). Sam is a nice guy.
Cobras Bats Awaken for 15-2 Win Over Blue Sox
The Cobras inexplicably played a late game against the feisty Minneapolis Blue Sox despite there being no activity at Parade Stadium beforehand. The Snakes managed to keep the dad’s on the team and head coach Matt Germar awake long enough to take the field. As the away team, the Cobras scrapped together 2 runs to start off the scoring in the first after a couple of walks and key hits. John Wengenroth started on the hill, pitching effectively for 4 innings of 2 run baseball.
The scoreboard really lit up in the top of the second inning, when the Cobras put up 7 runs before an out was recorded. They would add 3 more in the fourth and fifth innings each and Patrick “of the” Hunt had “already shut the door” to achieve a 10-run rule victory in 5 innings. The offensive outburst was exemplified most distinctly through not swinging at balls, and hitting strikes fairly hard.
- RF Mason Reinhart was hit squarely in the spine by a pitch, causing a unique pose while walking to first base resembling the mating dance of some rare bird species.
- Tyler Adams stroked 2 booming doubles to left center, the latter of which on a pitch that was called a balk by the umpire. After a long personal deliberation in the batter’s box on whether the moon landing was real or not, he successfully strode into second safely. He would go on to say, “There was a guy peeing back there and I wanted to scare him” when relating to a completely different subject.
- While noting the opposing pitcher appeared wild, Kahtan Al-Kaissy contemplated putting on his Evo branded protective bubble guard. When he couldn’t figure out how to get the breathing mechanism to work, he bravely hit without any further protection and promptly struck out. He later proclaimed, “I hate walks, running the bases is the worst part of the game.” Bold statement considering the game is called BASEBALL.
- Alex Gustafson made a triumphant return to the bullpen mound after one of his many glorious vacations, and is no longer listed as day-to-day. He was quoted as saying, “Well, it didn’t fall off, so today is a good day.” Good for you Gus!
- The Cobras celebrated the victory in the parking lot, accompanied by several fans, raising the year-to-date fan average to about 2.5. This prompted extra loud fines and defenses, and thick fake laughter so they would think we were having an extra good time.
- David Reyes had the unfortunate fate of earning the “beer batter” title for the second straight game, prompting this statement, “Come on guys, my piggy bank is almost empty as it is”.
- Gabe MacDonald was present in the dugout to support the team despite a recent back injury, though heavily medicated with prescription pain killers. This would result in some confusion during court, when he fined the wrong Tyler teammate. There, there Gabe. Just go to sleep, it will all be better soon.
Cobras play Big Dave and the Merchants at 8:30 on Thursday at Parade. Not to be confused with a bad cover band, the Merchants are a legitimate baseball club. See you out there, sports fans.
Munsterman, Budnick Combine for 3-1 Gem v Forest Lake
The Cobras traveled up north to face the Class B #5 ranked Forest Lake Brewers on Sunday night. Zach Munsterman, fresh off a haircut, took the hill for the Snakes and hucked a highly effective 7 innings of 1 run ball. Tyler Patterson would open up the scoring for the Cobras with a booming double to left center plating a winded Matt Borman from first base. Borman was so winded, in fact, that he refused to slide at home plate an was nearly tagged out. Mason Reinhart would hit a bloop single to right field to score Patterson and make the game 2-0 Cobras. Munsterman would battle through 7 innings, scattering a few hits and a pair of very deep fly balls to center field. John Wengenroth would drive in a big insurance run in the 9th inning with a sac fly scoring Sean "Cold Cuts" Borman. A fully-hydrated Brandon Budnick would log a 6 out save and close out the game with a final score of 3-1.
- Mason Reinhart had a very sweet diving catch. He popped the chain afterwards.
- J.E. Urseth was nearly ejected twice after arguing with the home town ump. Vegas odds were 5/2 for an ejection after the 2nd inning.
- Kahtan Al-Kaissy's name was butchered by the announcer so bad that the announcer admitted it was no where close to the correct pronunciation.
- Sean Borman has a shiny new truck. He parked 1.5 miles away from the field so it would not be hit by a foul ball.
- Mike Lenertz parked in the closest spot to the field because he doesn't care about another dent in his car.
- John Wengenroth talked about reading Charlottes Web after an unfortunate weekend in a public facility.
The Cobras next game is Tuesday against the Minneapolis Blue Sox. Parade Stadium is the venue at 8:30pm. See you there.
Patterson's Walk Off Single Caps Comeback Against River Rats
The Cobras ventured to the cathedral that is Dick Cassidy Field to square off in another Park National League contest with the Minneapolis River Rats. A gusty 20 knot wind blew in the direction of center field for most of the game, and when combined with the dimensions of the park, resulted in a Bryce Harper-esk HR/FlyBall percentage. The Rats would strike first with a solo home run to left to lead off the 2nd inning. The Cobras would make a habit of clawing back as they tied the score 1-1 in the bottom of the 2nd inning. The 3rd inning would be marred by some extra sloppy play. The Rats would load the bases with no outs and eventually score 2 runs on a HBP and error. Starter J.E. Urseth induced back-to-back-to-back (Tom Emansky style) grounders to the pitcher. The Cobras would plate another single run in the 4th to make it 4-2. The Rats would hit another solo home run in the 5th inning after what will only be described as an umpire fiasco and subsequent pitching fiasco.
The Cobras would then huddle up, down 4-2 at the time, and Sean Borman decided it was time to go hulk smash. Sean hit a ball about 10 feet off the ground over the right center field fence in about 1.1 seconds. This was not wind-aided. Zach Munsterman would come in relief of Urseth to pitch a scoreless top of the 7th inning. The final comeback would be set up after leadoff walks to Tyler Adams and Sam Bunnett and a single by pinch hitter Kahtan "Hips" Al-Kaissy. Mike Lenertz would continue his MVP season with a sac fly to tie the game at 4-4. Kevin Truax would summon all of his strength, hitting a warning track fly to deep left center allowing David Reyes (running for Bunnett) to reach 3rd base on a tag. Tyler Patterson would step up with 2 out in the bottom of the 7th and deliver a walk off single down the left field line to seal the deal for the Cobras. Patterson would be doused with water in celebration as a good pie to the face could not be procured. Final score 5-4 Snakes.
In the parking lot the Cobras grilled out with Hackenmueller Wings provided by Coach Matt Germar, fresh off a heart attack or two from the game. Mason Reinhart provided succulent burgers and kettle chips for a fee. Ump ZAR decided he really liked ketchup on his burger (an entire bottle of ketchup). Gabe MacDonald somehow was not fined for constructing a super double bunk-bq but was quickly relieved of grill duties.
The Cobras next game is Friday in Hastings, MN. 7:30pm start time...if mother nature allows.
Beck Deals, Cobras Beat Angels 6-1
The Cobras won a big league game on Wednesday night against the Minneapolis Angels by a score of 6-1. Park Center High School was the location of the contest after the previous night's scheduled game was rained out. The matchup featured 2 of the best pitchers in the league, the Cobras Tyler Beck and the Angels' Kirby Morsching. Morsching, coming off a no-hitter against the Merchants, would lose the no-hitter on the first pitch of the game, a booming double by Matt Borman. The Cobras would open the scoring early, with the first 6 Cobras batters reaching base on a variety of hard hits / bloops / errors. 3 runs would be scored in the first inning by the Snakes. The Cobras would tack on 2 runs in the 3rd inning and 1 in the 4th to finish the scoring for the Snakes. Tyler Beck was dominant on the hill, throwing another complete game (his 3rd on the year). The Cobras move to 2-1 in Park National League play.
- Kahtan Al-Kaissy had 3 hits, 2 errors, 2 bad hips, and 1 bad attitude. Also forgot how many outs there were and attempted to throw to 2nd with 2 outs on a grounder to him at first.
- Mike Lenertz turned a sweet double play and was not interested in the around the horn afterwards.
- Sean Borman had 6 balls hit to him at 3rd and made every play. A sweet backhand webgem was featured on Park National Tonight.
- Gabe MacDonald viciously broke his cheap styrofoam cooler in a pre-game ice rage fest. Mason described this as if Gabe was performing CPR on the cooler.
- Matt Germar clarified the signs to Zach Munsterman and J.E. Urseth, two guys who do not need to know what the signs are.
- Mason Reinhart took a mega bro hack and dropped to a knee. Check his facebook profile picture later today for the image.
The Cobras next game is Thursday at 6:15pm at Dick Cassidy Field against the Minneapolis River Rats. Mason promises a BBQ after the game, as long as you pay him. Pay that man his money.
Cobras Drop Pitchers Duel To Lyon's Pub 2-1
The Cobras lost a tight Park National League contest by a 2-1 score on Wednesday night to the Lyon's Pub Warriors. Tyler Beck got the nod on the hill for the Snakes and threw a complete game scattering only a couple Pub hits on the night. Tyler Adams lead off the game with a single, stole second and advanced to 3rd on a throwing error. Adams would reach home on a wild pitch to score the lone run for the Cobras. The game would be 1-1 until the bottom of the 6th inning where Lyon's Pub would mount a threat. Beck would strike out 2 Pub hitters in a clutch spot but a ball up the middle could not be fielded cleanly and the Pub would plate the go-ahead and game winning run. Tip of the cap to the Pub pitcher who kept the Cobras lineup off balance all night.
The Cobras and Pub implemented a new travelling trophy between the two clubs...a pro wrestling title belt. This belt features Cobras and Warriors helmet stickers on both sides and will be carried by the team who won the most previous matchup. The only problem with the belt is that it now belongs to the Pub. Temporarily.
In the parking lot warm beer flowed like wine. Mike Lenertz would save the day with a beer / ice run. Mason Reinhart grilled up some dogs and greasy burgers. The Cobras and Pub would battle in the lot till around 2AM until a compromise was met and a tie was declared.
The Cobras have the holiday weekend off before resuming PNL play with a game on Tuesday against the Minneapolis Angels. 6:15pm at Dick Cassidy Field in Minneapolis.
Cobras Open Up League Play With 9-2 Victory Over Baseball 365
The Cobras took the field on a very chilly night to begin league play with last year's expansion ballclub Baseball 365. The temperature was so cold Kevin Truax had to read the fine print on his contract to see if there was an "Old Man Cold Weather" clause. The Cobras would open up with 3 runs in the top of the first inning on a booming double from Sean Borman and a sac fly from the "Carolina Blue Brimmed" Tyler Adams. Starter J.E. Urseth would throw 6 innings of 2 run ball, with both runs being unearned. The Cobras would tack on 3 runs in the 3rd and 3 runs in the 6th inning to finish the scoring for the Snakes. Marcus Barone would come in for the 7th inning and get the "cold weather save" (not really a save but it sure was cold). New #1 fan Mike Castle would be very cold, and glad the games were over for the day.
- Kahtan purchased J.E. Urseth's patented Ejecto-Glove and put it on display twice at first base.
- Kevin Truax left the game with a bloody hand after a bad hop on a grounder. A 15 day DL stint looms.
- Sean Borman does not like taking pitches. Cold weather makes him angry.
- Matt Borman did a ballet type move to avoid being hit by a pitch. The pitch was a strike.
- Sam Bunnett got the beer frame against his old team. Ouch.
- Beer was ice cold in the parking lot...yet still not as cold as the beer in Dassel.
The Cobras next game is a big league showdown with the Lyon's Pub Warriors. Temperature looks to be much warmer, so come out and cheer on the Snakes. Game time is 6:15pm at Parade Stadium.
Cobras vs Coon Rapids Cancelled Due To Rain
Park National League play begins on Monday wit han 8:30pm tilt with Baseball 365 at Parade Stadium.
Cobras Top Dassel-Cokato 8-3
The Minneapolis Cobras battled traffic and traveled out west to the town of Dassel, MN for a pre-league tune-up game on Friday night against the Dassel-Cokato Saints. John Wengenroth would make the start on the hill for the Cobras.
The Cobras would take advantage of a couple of DC errors and walks to take a 2-0 lead in the first inning. The Saints would answer back with a couple of runs on 4 hits in the bottom of the first and one additional run in the 2nd inning. Wengenroth would settle down and put 5 zeros on the board after that, finishing with 7 strong innings and the decision in the contest. The Cobras would score 5 in the 5th inning as the wheels would fall off for the Saints. A combination of walks and hit batsmen would ultimately doom DC. The Cobras would tack on an additional run in the 8th inning on a Gabe MacDonald sac fly. Marcus Barone would come in to pitch, firing 2 scoreless innings to rack up the save while throwing a magnificent spork ball.
- Mike Lenertz would perform one of the worst flips to 2nd base ever. This upset Kevin Truax as he actually had to jump for a baseball.
- Sean Borman would crush a baseball off the right field wall. Hulk smash.
- John Wengenroth would be flustered early, causing him to forget to cover first base on a grounder to Kahtan Al-Kaissy. He was fined accordingly.
- J.E. Urseth's wife is still Mason Reinhart's personal at-bat videographer. Time for him to get a baby girl.
- Sam Bunnett would make a mega mud puddle splash with a baseball thrown back to the dugout.
- Gabe MacDonald made his 2015 season debut and was 1-2 (in court fines). He also had an actual RBI in the game.
- The Miller Lite in the beer den was ice cold...literally.
- Kahtan showed off that his dad was recently added to the WWE Video Game. J.E. Urseth raced home to download this update and use him to repeatedly beat Hulk Hogan.
The Cobras next game is Sunday against Coon Rapids. Game time is 3pm at Wintercrest Park. Park National League Play begins on Monday.
Beck Blanks Bobcats 5-0
Tyler Beck threw a 2 hit complete game shutout on Wednesday as the Cobras picked up a 5-0 victory over the Burnsville Bobcats. Beck dominated all evening and considered off speed pitches optional. Only 4 batters reached base, 2 on hits, 1 on error and 1 on a nasty headshot (luckily the guy was ok). In fact, the Bobcat batter who was struck in the head picked up the 2 hits against beck later in the night. Former Cobra Brian Jensen was in attendence and managed to jinx the no hitter in the 6th inning by mentioning it. On the next pitch the Bobcats would register their first hit...a bloop single. Jensen threw a dollar bill over the fence to pay his fine.
Offensively, the Cobras hit some large fly balls all night...but no home runs were found. Tyler Adams scored the first run of the game after a single and stolen base on a single by Matt Borman. Mike Lenertz scored the second run and continued his hot hitting. The Cobras would score 3 runs in the 7th to finish the scoring.
Beck racked up 6 Ks on the night, and about 18 ground balls including a grunt-inducing grounder to shortstop Mike Lenertz. The night was ended on a silky smooth barehand play by 3B Sean Borman. Back to back CG Shutouts for the Snakes.
In the parking lot David Reyes was video conferenced into court and was recipient of the first ever tele-fine and tele-skate. J.E. Urseth was fined for hitting himself in the head with his bat, even though his arm was numb from a horse muscle relaxer balm that Kahtan had bought at the horse doctor (he does not own a horse). The Cobras toyed with the idea of replacing the "beer batter" with the "wop batter". Tyler Beck sat on a bosu ball and two persian rug pillows in court...you can do that when you go CG shutout Wednesday.
The Cobras next game is Friday at 7:30pm in Dassel, MN vs the Dassel-Cokato Saints. Dassel will host the C Tourey in 2016, and the field is very beautiful. Hope you can come out and enjoy.
Patterson Makes Cobras Debut With 2 Bombs and Munsterman Goes CG Shutout Tuesday as Cobras Blank St. Anthony 6-0
Zach Munsterman made his 2015 season debut with a convincing complete game shutout of the St. Anthony Hogs on Tuesday. His half amish / half Jacob DeGrom style hair flowed in the wind and kept the Hog hitters of balance all night. The man even found time to pimp his college roommate on a grounder back to him. Below you can see a still shot of Zach DeGrom dicing the Hogs.
Offensively the Cobras were lead by FNG Tyler Patterson who started behind the dish in his debut game for the Snakes. Patterson would out "Mason" Mason at being Mason, hitting a home run in his first and second at bats on the roster. He would also follow it up with 3 strikeouts, giving him the Ryan Klekso award for 2 bombs and a sombrerro in the same game. A stellar debut for Patterson who also showed off his hand cannon behind the dish, causing Matt Germar to temporarily levitate with joy in the dugout.
Patterson would put the Cobras up 2-0 after 4 innings. The Cobras would add a couple more runs on sac flys by Sam Bunnett and Sean Borman. An RBI groundout by Mike Lenertz would make the game 5-0 in the 8th. Lenertz would finish 3-4 on the night, the best game of his career. Matt Borman would lead off the 9th inning with a mammoth home run just to the left of the party deck in right field. Borman used the full 5 count to stand and admire his home run before making his way around the bases. The Cobras have 10 home runs on the year in 5 games.
Munsterman would get stronger as the game progressed, scattering 11 Hogs hits on the night. The bearded one would work 50% harder than the Hogs, very similar to amish bowling in the movie Kingpin, and secure the complete game shutout. A stellar night for the Snakes overall.
In the parking lot, The Cobras would get fine-happy for the first time all year. JE Urseth was fined for leaving his car keys on Kahtan's truck while watching Peoria Carp Hunters. Mason was fined for a helicopter bat toss after a walk that almost killed Sean Borman. Matt Germar was fined for messing up the signs as 3rd base coach. Lenny was fined for saying F*** I'm slow after getting thrown out at 3rd base. Kevin Truax texted JE the result of the game, while standing 5 feet from him and was fined accordingly. Kahtan was fined for "Walking Dead Texting" in RF after the game. It was a great night and we were all reminded that we have a party to pay for!
The Cobras would like to congratulate Jake and Kaley Krause on the birth of their first child today, Marek Clay Krause. We can't wait to see Mareks non-aggressive batting stance, molded after his fathers.
The Cobras next game is Wednesday, 7:30pm at Alimagnet Park in Burnsville against the Burnsville Bobcats. We hope to see you there.
Cobras Lose 13-3 to Dundas
The Cobras dropped their second straight game with a 13-3 drubbing by the Dundas Dukes. Mason Reinhart hit a 3 run home run, the only spark of the entire night for the Snakes. Dundas threw every left handed guy in the tri-county area. J.E. Urseth threw the first 5 innings and was mildly effective. After the 5th inning, the entire game went pear-shaped. Many walks and hits later, Dundas had the victory. Toilet.
The Cobras will look to rebound on Tuesday as they face the St. Anthony Hogs.
Cobras Fall to Hopkins 6-5 on Walkoff Double
The Cobras took a tough loss on Wednesday in the form of a walkoff double by the Hopkins Berries. The game featured back and forth scoring and, despite a couple errors in one bad inning by the Snakes, was a pretty good game. Alex Gustafson, fresh off a trip to the Kentucky Derby, started on the hill for the Cobras. Gus threw 3 innings, had a mint julep, and now leaves for "Up For Whatever, USA" as he continues to live the dream. FNG Brandon Budnick relieved Gustafson and threw 3 solid lefty-slangin' innings and nearly got the win for the Snakes.
The Cobras were down 2-0 entering the top of the 6th when they would rally to take the lead 3-2. The Berries would take advantage of a couple Cobras errors in the bottom of the 6th inning to make it 4-3. In the top of the 7th, Matt Borman would hit a leadoff double off the right field fence. The Cobras would end up scoring 2 runs in the top of the 7th to make it 5-4 Cobras and put the pressure on the Berries. Unfortunately, a few base hits and a questionable strike zone later, the Berries would lace a game-winning double down the left field line. LF Tyler Adams ran like some sort of Tiger or Liger or Puma, narrowly missing the ball on a full dive. Final score 6-5 in favor of the Raspberries.
Those Berries have aligator blood. Can't get rid of them.
The Cobras next game is Friday at 7:30pm in Dundas. Come out and support the Snakes.
Cobras Crush 3 Bombs, Beat St. Louis Park 10-0
The Cobras beat a very familiar foe in the St. Louis Park Town Team on Monday night by a score of 10-0. The Cobras were lead by a combined shutout from pitchers Tyler Beck, Pat De La Hunt, John Wengenroth and Matt Germar. Sean Borman hit a monster bomb in the 3rd to open up what would be an 8-run inning. Kahtan Al-Kaissy, fresh off a playoff hockey wrist injury, also crushed a mammoth bomb in the 3rd. Kahtans wrist must be healing similar to the arm of Henry Rowengartner, because he crushed another home run in the 5th inning to make it 9-0 Snakes. Matt Germar would score the final run of the game to make it 10-0 after he bat flipped a single in his first at bat of the year. Kevin Truax made his season debut and, very surprisingly, did not attempt a drag bunt.
Here is what we learned in the game on Monday...
- SLP considers running to first optional on grounders to the infield.
- JE Urseth's pattented "Ejecto-Glove" will reach consumers in Q3.
- Kahtan Al-Kaissy is unaware of his true range at first base.
- Mason will not be making the Quamba Tournament, but he does not know why yet.
- The Cobras are on pace for 126 bombs this year.
- Matt Paulsen does not like changeups from Matt Germar.
- The Big Willow field resembles something seen during the Dust Bowl.
The Cobras next game is Wednesday against the Hopkins Berries. 8:15pm at Big Willow. See you then.
Cobras Open Up With 10-4 Victory Over Cottage Grove
The Cobras opened up their 2015 season with a non-league victory over the Cottage Grove Coyotes (TCMABL) on Saturday by a final score of 10-4. On a beautiful day for baseball the Cobras took a few beautiful swings and racked up double digit runs. Matt Borman hit two home runs and Mason Reinhart hit an oppo bomb and popped the chain offensively for the Cobras. Every Cobra starter had at least one hit on the day and even an exhausted Mike Lenertz racked up a multi-hit performance.
Starter John Wengenroth tossed 3 no hit innings for the Snakes. Patrick De La Hunt made his Cobras debut with 3 innings of high sliders and flowing locks. Mike Lenertz played pepper with the backstop and grass in front of home for 2 scorless innings. David Reyes took off the flair and threw the 9th inning, displaying both the "Reyes Face" and also the "Closer Face". J.E. Urseth caught all 9 innings for the Snakes and was very dusty at the end. The Cobras felt a real old school vibe as the umpire working the game wore the traditional "puss pad" chest protector.
The Cobras post-game game was very strong. Dualing rugs were in full effect and Mason Reinhart had his subs turned up. Absent Manager Matt Germar showed up for the post game festivities and bragged about his South High squad beating Armstrong earlier that day. The Cobras then took the party to J.E. Urseth's house for a post game BBQ. John Wengenroth brought 2 ears of corn and some onions for the grill. Kahtan Al-Kaissy Eyewitness News displayed on-location updates of a house fire in Richfield. Matt Germar provided the thrill of the evening with play by play of a naked bath salt using man who had gone on a tirade near his work in "a London Fog".
The Cobras next game is Monday at 7:30pm at Big Willow in Hopkins against the St. Louis Park Town Team.
2015 Season Preview
The Minneapolis Cobras compiled a 27-9 record in 2014 but had their Class A title hopes dashed with a first round loss in the MBA State Tournament. This year the Cobras hope to build on the success of 2014 and push deep into the State Tournament just as they did in 2013. The Cobras have added depth to their pitching staff and have bolstered their lineup with a couple of new offensive threats. The Cobras will be playing 42 regular season contests in 2015. Tournaments include Elko-New Market, Quamba, SpamTown (Austin), and the Nick Bell Classic in Cold Spring.
A Powerful Offense Returns
A dominant offense will return to the field for the Cobras in 2015. Kevin Truax flirted with retirement this offseason but returns to the top of the lineup for the Snakes. The heart of the order will have familiar names: Matt Borman, Mason Reinhart, Matt Rink, Sean Borman and Jake Krause. New, but recognizable, faces in the lineup will consist of Kahtan Al-Kaissy (the original dollar factory) who returns from a 3 year trip to Wisconsin for some reason and Sammy "Bistro" Bunnett who comes over from the Baseball 365 squad. Those two will be filling in for the departed mainstay at 1B Erik Quarberg, who retired this offseason. Gabe MacDonald will return to catch the majority of the games for the Cobras and most likely lead the team in fines. Tyler Adams joins the snakes in the outfield this year and will provide yet another left handed bat in the already lefty heavy lineup. Adams will moonlight for the Cobras in between softball games and lifting weights. John Wengenroth, Mike Lenertz, Matt Germar, David Reyes, J.E. Urseth and FNG Tyler Patterson will also contribute to the offense that lead the Park National League in runs in 2015. The Cobras will be without the tattoos and speed of Ryan Sele in 2015, who is moving to Alaska to work on a crab boat (citation needed).
Pitching Depth A Key
Pitching has always been in flux on the Cobras. When pitching is on point, the Cobras are a hard team to beat. The 2015 squad should prove to be a deep and talented pitching staff. J.E. Urseth returns as the snakes top innings eater and designated cuttermania expert. Alex Gustafson will make his way into the rotation, making the change from his dominant closer role in 2014. Newcomers Tyler Beck and Pat De La Hunt should log meaningful innings on the hill for the Cobras in 2015. Matt Germar and John Wengenroth will be veteran anchors on the staff and provide leadership to the young college arms. Kevin Truax might return to closer status in 2015 if he can get his arm warmed up in time. Mike Lenertz may even get on the mound to throw a very hairy 12-6 curve. Zach Munsterman and Marcus Barone will return from their colleges in mid May and complete the pitching staff. The Cobras pitching staff should have the talent to push through the 42 game schedule and make a meaningful impact in the playoffs.
The games will be serious, but fun will always be had. In 2014, the Cobras set an all-time Kangaroo Court record with over $200 raised for the end of the year party. With the addition of Kahtan Al-Kaissy, this record stands in jeopardy of being broken again. David Reyes, Al-Kaissy and Gabe MacDonald will vie for the title of "The Kahtan Al-Kaissy Dollar Factory Award". The real question is: can a newcomer can make a run at the title?
The Cobras open up the 2015 season on Saturday May 2nd against the Cottage Grove Coyotes (TCMABL) in Cottage Grove. First pitch is at 2pm.
The Minneapolis Cobras 2015 Schedule is Complete.
The Cobras will be playing 42 regular season contests in 2015. Tournaments include Elko-New Market, Quamba, SpamTown (Austin), and the Nick Bell Classic in Cold Spring. June should be a very busy month as 3 of those tournaments occur while Jake & Kaley Krause expect a baby baby, and man mountain Matt Rink gets hitched to his fiance Kelly, all in June. Stay tuned for a off season report as the roster should look significantly different this season. There might even be news of an original dollar factory coming back in the mix.
Cobras official spring training starts March 2nd.