A collection of the musings from some of 'The view's most intimate moments
A view from the bench
Cannons blast the Brewcrew!
The artillery of the Cannons was too much for Scotty Thitch's Brew Crew this past Saturday. The weather held up and we got the games in and kept the non sober train chugging along. Big Daddy AKA Tony Silk blasted a homerun shot to left to get the juices flowing early. Also T-Roy "Big Scrilly" Billy smashed a 2-run shot although I'm not sure if anyone noticed as they were pre-occupied staring at other things..The manager kept up his newly found vintage ways with a couple of nice muscle pumping line drives. As usual Nephron Jerry Galley and Alexy Wish7nicki kept up their winning ways on the mound keeping the Brewers out of the 282 club. Apres the games a lack lustre homerun derby was held with only Scotty "too hottie" Thitchener muscling 1 lazy fly our of Laroy Watt homer-dome. And as for the rest it's pretty standard..jump in a van and head on down to CLUB 55 where the aunties are large and the pepperoni is fresh! Strangely the Van and our prized team pilot disapeared that night it must have caught Sunday-Uncle syndrome..Chat to ya next time..I'm pooched..
Manager Jones gets robbed again!!
With his second moon shot of the season and after his fair ball being called foul in Squamish, Manager Jones hit a near-bomb again in last nights game. If you break it down to physics:
P = (1/2).m.v2 + gd = g(1- d) =PE = his ball fell just short of the mark, landing him a walking double.
Both shots would have landed him grand slams but a higher power will just not give into the divine manager. His time will come oh yes his time will come (when no one is looking). Also..Nephron served up a SMACK! Now that's gonna leave a mark! Cannons won the game against a wounded Moose team looking pretty sickly. Also judging by the "BREW CREWS" record of late Mr. Scotty Thitch best be pulling them socks or knee brace up considering they have a roster of 22 :) Until Sunday..
A successful home opener!!
The Cannons had their 12th inaugural home opener at Laroy Watt field this weekend. Even though the lowly Moose had a lack lustre team on the field they still battled with what they had. The Cannons took a win in both games with T-Roy Billy goats gruff and Nephron Jerry Galley once again confirming their spot in Club 282. Manager Divine Davis Jones came close to re-joining if it wasn't for the blurry-eyed umpire. I guess the baselines weren't applied straight enough or the foul poles weren't high enough to show off this beauty blast? Big Daddy Kraz was nowhere to be seen but was quoted "When swing bat this year it feel like it bending-I've never felt that before!!" Oooool Lips rolled thru and didn't miss a beat and kept up his 6-pack pregame ritual and playing solid. A record crowd was recorded on the weekend with almost 30 people there featuring the one and only famous DERON to cheer on the Cannons. After a post game Uncle BBQ we paraded to club 55 where it was a sloppy sausagefest until some certain beauties rolled in and made a few people spend some time alone in the upstairs bathroom. Almost forgot to mention how sweet the manager must be with a special #7 cupcake made just for him by a fan. Divine Cupcake Jones!!! More updates on the rest of the NSMBA to come this week..Hammer out..
Valiant effort but no repeat for Cannons..
The Cannons chances of repeating were looking as dismal as Vancouver weather Saturday afternoon as they dropped their first game vs. the Richmond A's. The only positive was Big Daddy Kraaaz's 2 run homerun at bat sending hair splinters flying! The mood was lightened however when T-Roy billy represented them in the homerun derby placing second only to a part-time Cannon Scotty Webzoo. That night the team deliberated over some beverages and medicinal products their game plan for the next day. Miskin showed the team his exercises and moves that night in the hotel to get him ready for the next days BIG game. The coaching staff made sure to document on camera to ensure future performance. The next morning game time was 9am so all my nephews were wide-eyed and ready to get 'er goin! The Cannons took game 2 in a pitching duel which was an excellent game to scorekeep. The afternoon game proved that Mr. T-Roy Billy is back on the attack hittin a 3-run jack! Manager Jones made a superman like catch, holding back his smile as best he could and shook it off like it ain't no thaaang. Twatney Hughson was also a stud this weekend with a really hot stick! This upcoming weekend we have the long awaited home opener at Laroy Watt field. Nephew Galley knows the wind will be blowing towards right field it could be 282 time. It will be a fun-filled time filled with jj's, k-bobs, Big Rigg's and parades to Club 55..Until next time..
"Into da valley"
The Cannons will push a grey van into Riiiiidge Meadows this weekend to defend their title at the Larry Walker Invitational. Coming stocked with as many ex-college players we can bribe, a healthy Troy Billy and a bottle of morning after pills after questionable relations that start at Roosters Redneck Cabaret. The Cannons are setting their sights on a re-peat. As other teams are wiser to us now it will be a challenge so they will just have to have a hack eh Wish7y. Results to follow on Monday as I will have full in depth coverage of Kraz's new nickname of the year and number of "gear-downs" from a certain manager.
A sunny week two in the stud-filled NSMBA
The week started off with the Moooose facing off against the Brew Crew in a re-match of the prior Saturday's game. The brew crew were fairly dominant hitting the crap out of a certain #25. Fern couldn't contain his excitement as he turned to the Cannons watching from the stands and quoted "oooh Squamish Nation!" Prior to Saturday Javid Dones received a strange text from a North dakota number stating that Dale Ballance would be joining us; I'm sure ol Wishy still hears that ding off the scoreboard! It turned out to be Jackie-O who rolled right thru to lower his baseball standards for a weekend. I also received a strange text from a certain manager questioning which body part needs hair removal before which event?? Saturday started off with the Brew Crew downing the Reds in convincing fashion. We did notice the presence of a certain ex-Blue Jay on the Thursday game so we will see how often that happens, hopefully the Mackie kids are there to retrieve balls...The Cannons and Davey Day's A's went into extra innings both games in their double header which was actually some good baseball. Everyone was fired up for these games as there were whispers of managers gearing down in vans and whale hunting the following weekend in Ridge meadows with the "Fedora" as our coach. I myself score-kept the first game along side my nephews Wishy and Jackie. All went silent as a certain lefty started and Wishy exclaimed, "I love you from that stretch 7 oooh I really love you from that stretch!" I finally got my start in game 2 and realized...I'm super good at score-keeping! Game one was won 11-5 and game 2 was tight with Jackie-O going all 9 innings, allowing just 2 runs. This lead the Cannons to a 3-2 victory thanks to the late inning heroics of BIG T-O-R PUUUUUrvis smashing in the game winning RBI. Following this game we jumped on the palm-beer train and headed down to watch the Moose take on the Pi-Rates. Once again a certain #25 was on the mound looking his usual shaky self as The Pi-rates were all supplemented up and were victorious. That's all until next week when I re-cap the Cannons quest to re-peat at the Larry Walker Invitational. We're comin' for you Dicky Kimber!!
Opening weekend and a succesful fundraiser
As all the hung-over heroes of the NSMBA dragged their asses out of bed for opening weekend it went off without a hitch and good weather surprise surprise. The morning started off with the mighty Brew-Crew taking on the good 'ol Moose. I got there to catch the last half of the game, by the way Scotty "Big Stud" Thitchener was right riled up I thought they had won the game. Little did I know they were upset in the end falling 11-10 to the Moose with some last inning heroics. Up next were the Cannons vs. the Pi-rates, who the umpires warned before the season had even started, now that's laying the law down! It'ss a Wiiiish punched out 10 Pi-Rate batters and Mautty Mautt Taylor exploded on the stick to help the Cannons to a triumphant 3-2 victory. As I had to go do my team mom duties and set up the fundraiser, I missed the second game but from what I hear the Cannons were up through 5 until "Big Daddy" Kraz came in for relief of Willy Kerr and it resulted in a Pi-rate victory..hmm..The return of T-roy Billy was also noted as some new people in the league were whispering (look at that stance..wow). Later in the evening Davey "Fedora" Day and the A's batted down the Reds to a victory. The grey party bus then proceeded to Mosquito Crick for a night of memories that no one remembers!! It went well and dukkets were made so manager Jones can pay our collection debts. The next games will be Thursday as the Brew Crew battle the Moose once again for REDEMPTION and Saturday The Cannons battle the A's in a double header followed by the Moose vs. The Pi-Rates..Until next week Hammer out..
A preview from the bench!
Man have the years gone by, now entering our 11th season we have come along way from our days of bush-league bandits. The return for T-Roy Billy this year is a much needed addition now that he has recovered from his 'wrist' injury suffered at the hands of Josh 'slikkster' Parra. When asked about the upcoming season Manager Jones responded with "I never chew my corn and just shoot it like a machine gun into the toilet before game time". As you can see he has high hopes for the season to come. Nephron 'Jerry Jacks' is on the DL to start the season with a so-called jack-hammer injury (that's what she said). With that being said a groan comes from a certain grey van as a valued team member is gonna need plenty of "medication" to get him through the season. My bouy Smitty!! Kraz is well..he's Kraz you know how that goes and is that Ol Lips rollin thru? Well that is yet to be determined. Tor once again has the sickest gear and will be the best dressed Cannon as always and Big Will Kerr will be conned into this somehow when the going get's tough. Mackie has a 4th child on the way keeping on par with one per season (actually not but ya never know with that jack-rabbit) Return of the mullet!! Should be a promising season (since when hasn't it) and tune in to see how it unfolds..Uncle Hammer Jamir Magonigle Stacks is out until next week on The view from the oooool' bench..
Big dadddddy Kraz clears the bases with a 360 foot shot to cash in enough runs to solidify a Cannons perfect season!!(They definetly weren't gonna score 3 on Nephew Galley he was in the f***in zone due to pre-game rituals in the dugout..Well after that 2 game sweep I guess it takes more than supplement routines and whisks to beat the Cannons..Although according to Rob it was just misplays on the Pi-rates side..uhuh..With this victory came a cleansing as series VP Big Daddy Kraz and Manager Jones got a much needed Baby Duck Shower! Tor was just in time to drink and celebrate the big win and new hats..wait where are those hats anyways??OOOOOOOOOOOl lips eh!! Big Bre was extremely large behind the plate as was Big Brent in the field. Also there was support from a few former " Bluejays Prospects" with Big Willy pitching a stellar game one heatin' the ball in along with Wishn7icki and Matty Mauts Taylor stellar hitting. Wishn7cki hit so good he even hit a few behind him? T-Roy Billy coached us along as his wrist injury sidelined him for this season to the delight of every pitcher in our league! Van riderz looooooove their Vuluptous Red-heads..so do Brewers haha zing!! Oh and how could I forget the bullet in the gap put up by Manager Javid Dones in game 1, when quoted he said.."It was the best hit of the day..game..season..well maybe career". Well Hammer is out for this season, gotta go jump in the van..Van Truckin USA!!!!
Cannons 4-peat the Dave Dayrod midseason classic!!!
The cannons were victorious the mid season tournament in 4 straight games this past weekend. A lot of big boys hit big shots this weekend and injured Nephew Galley pitched a gem in the finals. Supplement routines were exchanged as well as some table tennis. Matty Maut Taylor a new edition to our team as well as ol' Lips also had a great weekend at the plate. It'ssss Wish pitched a stellar 2-hitter on the Saturday as well but just couldn't quite "pull the trigger" at the plate. Big Daddy Kraz also burst out his chest hair to contributed with a triple and an error to complete the in park homerun. "Prez" Jones was all grins after another great outing by The Cannons. Well it's a good thing I got my ashtray back the TV looked bare..Up to Skew7mesh this weekend for 2 double headers as well as the 2nd annual pool party extravaganza!!!! See ya there..
From Big Willy to Big Bear
Big Willy had a big outing as he mowed down 16 of the Pi-rates batters..Rob was quoted as saying it felt really good to no-hit the Cannons through 6 innings (The Cannons still won 3-0 so does it still feel good)?? Onto the weekend where Bre "Big Bear" Lawrence finally joins the 282 club!! Mr. Purvis also came through with a walk-off single to cap off the double header sweep of Dave day's A's..Does the Manager have a new belt yet? I bet Rod B. could carve him one up oh..Although not all is well in Cannon land as they fell 5-1 to the Pi-rates in their redemption games..possibly a few errors?? It's aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa Wiiiiiiiiiish showed up though smashing a couple of nice hits as did BANGER Mckenzie the number 1 pick up! Next stop..mid-season tournie, it's Moose hunting season!!
The Cannoose win the Twin Cities Invitational!!!
The Cannons (with a little help from their Mooselike friends) won their second consecutive tournament to open the year. The 1st annual Twin Cities Invitational was help at Larry Walker park this past weekend where the cannons were victorious 10-4 vs. the Aldergrave Cubs to take first place. Nephron Jerry Galley took home MVP with 2 stellar pitching performances plus a large Grand Slam! Big Daddy Kraz was quoted as saying "oh that's a Jerry Jack"!! Big Daddy Kraz also showed his long ball skills placing 2nd place in the 16 person homerun derby. They scored so many runs over the four games the scorekeeper's pen kept running out if ink. UBC Thunderbird pick-up Nic was quoted as saying "does this team load the bases every inning"?? All in all it was a successful tournie and safe taxi was used at 6 am for curfew's sake. Thanks to Brendan, Dusty Diamond and Big Scott Webbie for coming out to help out load those bases! Jackie'o how's the Mc'D's breakie after a van ride in the mornin?? Come out for our home opener this weekend May 28th at Laroy Watt field for some swats, squats, beers, and bbq. Bigg Rigg Smitt will be signing autographs!!!!
Cannons win inaugural Lumberjack Icebreaker
The Cannons were victorious this past weekend at the first annual Lumberjack Tournament at Laroy Watt stadium. It was a close final game until the 8th inning where the Cannons scored 5 runs to win the game. Organizer Jerry Galley pitched a fine game completing the shutout and also umping all of Saturday's games while still maintaining a beer per inning..astonishing! When asked to comment he stated "Cheesy rice and Chicky strips!!" This weekend also marked the triumphant and long waited return of Big Rigg Smitt an electrifying player from past Cannons years. Rigg wound up hitting 2 home runs with one landing on the Squamish rez and the other getting out in a real hurry as the crowd chanted..Big Rigg Big Rigg!! Bluejays can't hit knuckleballs???? Meanwhile Kraz did more work keeping busy as always and T-Roy Morphy umpired some fine games. Thanks to the Brewers and Moose who sadly didn't make it past the first round but we know we know, it's just a decoy right Thitch, to give us hope? Well the season is underway and so is the VFTB, stay tuned every week for all the highlights, misplays and debaucheries of the summer 2011 NSMBA season..until next week.
The Rangers win the pennant! The Rangers win the pennant!
Obviously not the Parkgate Rangers but at least we have a good name. After a dismal arse whipping this past Saturday (in a game that felt longer than a 2003 Firbank outing) The rangers failed to defeat a very UN-Orthodox team! The score doesn't matter the pen ran out of in in the 3rd i believe..Play of the game goes to Wish7 for beaning that beanpole lefty who I now hear is ACTUALLY a challenged person in real life too! It was uplifting watching thitch throwin gas like he was 25 again!! I guess you DO lose stamina with age hey thitch ;D Can't you just smell that rosed-coloured youth..Senor Senor too bad the season ended in your prime just in time to get out of shape for 2011!! LEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE ???? Always great chats with Fern..The fall ball was great but the kid's gotta pack it in until next year. Fundraiswer to come i better see you all there (meaning Dave and Thitch the only readers)
The Muth#!$%&^in Rangers!!!!!
S from the B's almost hit a jack but he was short three feet must be his bum knee or not all i know is his one eared red cap rocks he lays out like super man and Powerhouse Jones is his superfan!!!! Bottom of seven bases juiced The Hammer knows what to do swing at strike three and get the fuk off the field quickly!! To my boy Fern from which I learn just show up and take turns, from jerry galley i know homegrown with the bomb show !! It's aaaaaa WIIIII7777H swingin for the fence but does he sure know how to dance sportin the van he's the uncle's man!! JP saslica Quattia cohero silia and pass the chew soaked in Rye and mackie knows why he's a strong little old guy, and Kyle won't let that heater get bye , peace I'm out Tor and I are gonna get...;) and that's no lie. View from the bench..the Rangers aren't bad but today had a stench..
Mid-Season Memories to Year End Tournament Top Story
Well it seemed all the cannons came and got positive with Kraz Big this past mid-season tournie. (At least Victoria got a one day sight-seeing trip out of it) Though hungover and sunburnt from the previous day the "Brew Crew" and Cannons start the day with a very frightening and close game as Jerry Lalli grunted louder than ever! They had this 3rd baseman who was just a stud! But in the end the Cannons rolled right thru to the finals against the Elk..I mean Moose. It's Wiiiiiiiiiiiiii7h!!!! Once again we had ourselves a tight one even T-Roy Billy was flying like Superman! In the end our Dominican sensation was the hero ripping a trip to cash in the winning runs. Cannons win (Not being biased at all) and all share the same warm beer out of the cup all receiving a cold sore! Yayy! This weekend will be the start of an exciting showdown to see who really runs the block called Parkgate. The Tiger balm and Advil's are comin' out! Gotta get these fingers loosened up to score I predict it will be a hitter's tournie. The Pi-Rates, The Dead Reds, The Lowly A's, The Moooooose, The Brew Crew and The Cannons will do battle may the best and most belligerent team win. Bring beer.
Senor "Javid" Dones reached back like a pull start lawn mower and crushed his first innagural wooden bat bomb over the left field fence at Laroy Watt field this past saturday. Even though he hits a couple dozen every practice this was a milestone in the slugger's cannons career. On behalf of the NSMBA and the Squamish Nation we bid you congatulations Senor!! Gotta love big winds... Oooooool Lips kept up his end of the bargain as well bapping 182' bombs and mowing down the Reds with his ?ball..After stretching his hands thouroughly from scorekeepersitis The hammer followed his hitting mentor T-Roy Billy with a long ball as well at Parkgate for the ages that nearly went out if the air density was right. Needless to say shock has set in. The Mid-season is just around the corner as all teams begin the week long ramp up the the most historic event in the NSMBA (the only tournament that serves as a chance to win beer money for after) The Brewers may have Pond but I hear the cannons have a ringer themselves bringing the studly 'Rance Mullininks' out of retirement for this one. it's all about contact! See y'all at the show..the kids gotta go..
Well well well,it seems our amigos the "BREW CREW" are right on the Scannons tail but it's ok because we always get theirs ;) Apparently Thitch learned everything he knows from a wise score keeper... The Piiii-Rates signed Stilley they're makin a run!! In other events the Cannons were 'trippin out' this week with 3-baggers spraying every which way.. It's Wiiiish! Hey 77 ...time blue!...time blue!! RTCO Bro. Double header up in Squatemala this weekend..lot's of chances to join the elite "282 Club"! Until then my friends..
Fairly basic victory of the Moose by the cannons I witnessed playing Lucky Lager pinch runner. Wish thought we were playing slo-pitch tricking a few with 'The rainbow" pitch! John Haar invented that one! Lips' lips almost slipped but he kept them zipped. Brewers still in first place?? Only until Dave day's A's leave them in a daze. Is Mackie the new Ace? Davey J with a spray...to be continued Tuesday...
And 5 k's for Big Willy style
Yessss the cannons of '04 was there!! Izzzzz it Wiiiiiiiiiiiisssshhhh, outing for the books guess who rolled thru on his good looks. Dave day's gettin pumped and it's one week till Vic, we think he's our coach but really he's a Maverick?? Well happy birthday Scotty the brew crew was victorious just for you ;) And well nothing else matters if you K 5 times anyways. 5?? Really?
back to the cage...
And he comes up throwing...
The gun from Cannons LF proved it was not be rolled thru on launching a 109 foot rocket to home plate oh but wait KRAZ be big KRAZ be quick KRAZ swat ball over fence with wooden stick! Jacko's knuckleball danced as did the rest, having 80 beer in the dugout is best! Can't wait to play the brews maybe their 3rd baseman will get a hit too..that's the call the kid's gotta go take some fly balls...
Dave day all the way!
Oooooool Lips was even doing handstands.
It's a bird it's a plane no wait it's diving Jave! Bringing you this post with crippled hands from colouring in so many little squares yesterday. Well the cannons looked worried and fatigued when falling behind a couple of runs but answered back with 104 of their own just for fun. Fat Rob was wishing he was back in Tibet bangin bitches with his homie Buddha. Due to a slight man crush and fear of Jerry G Matty Gildersleve will not be playing this year. Didn't hear much chatter from Kraz in the field...hmmm. Johnny Stuuuuuuuu! Maybe we will have to let the Brewers win one game this year, it's easier being a columnist when there's more to pick apart, thankfully we still have Johnny V for that purpose. Well that's my thoughts, I better stop there the kid has to do some squats!!
Every Auntie's crazy about a sharp dressed Cannon
Misfits o' many, pints and jaints of plenty...Girldersleeve was all up in Jerry's gear, it's too bad oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooool' lips ain't here...Kraz wasn't here to yell in our ear so no one had a party, Davis's tears formed a puddle cause he knew he had to go home for a cuddle...Troy hits a bomb what else is new, but hell froze over when Wish7 hit one too! ...that's all I have for today, the kid needs to stretch he might get to play...
Oh if it ain't my muthaf*@kers!!!
Alright now f**kers you're about to get slapped with davis's small cack and my 9mm gat slap hairy back! Scattered and scabbed seem the Howe Sound Cannons even though wins somehow get found in our colons?? With the non presence of heart and soul members they still Scarry on. Where's OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOl Lips's tits and where's The Hammer and the meaty bits???? Everyone have a moment of silence for the team stats, JB where you at? Victoria Mavericks want their money back? They can't win money back they never gave up or can they?? Well johnny V may not be there to hit bombs it's his 3rd aunt's sisters husbands step brothers mistresses Bday! It's ok though krazs hairs shoot like venomous barbs of intensity!!!! Midseason tournament we will unite as one powerhouse that was once known as The Laroy watt Oscars Pub tantalus Doors Mountain Shadow Ocean Port Howe Sound CANNONS!!!! Let's fire up now Team Curfew for this weekend has been changed to 5:50am!! GO ATARNAJAUTS!!!!
Yo Yo hold up sluts!
This is the muthaf*ckin Hammer so listen up reds/brewer/a's/moose/pirate ass beehatches!! Drewmuthaf*ckinstilleyupinyourmouth is up in dis bitch to roll the f*ck thru! I heard he has a thing for brewers shortstops too. Drew and I will crush everyone with our bare dirty hands! Anyone got any rollies before we snap! (Beware of The KRAZ 2008!!!!!!!!) By the way he's 6'8" but hung like a 7 footer!
We scummed and we scamed
What ya gonna do when we flop our bellies on youuuuuu!!!! That's right you chicken-pocked sl*t muthaf*ckassssssss!!!! I bet you the cannons aren't scared to take first place this year no they're not are they. I bet you the Hammer isn't scared to scame all over dem big hips while Lovejones takes sh*ts and makes love to an 18 year old ditz. Tron will roll thru and f-ing sock you while Kraz rolls a dube and won't stop talking to you (by the way Dominguez where are you??). Lips will bite your titz, Jarret will steal your spitz as Vintage Malkey slams back a glass of milk from dem titz . Firbank will strike you out then trip on his shoe, Just try running Twatney and he will smoke you then bum one off you. Tor and Ollie just showed up now it's safe to talk sh*t and act tuff. J-Gal will dent your forehead when he floppeth it on you, Brad will come at you with those gams and there's nothing you can do as for Johnny V...I won't even start with you.
A Win, Flips and some Beers
Yes, I think it is safe to say that we're not losers anymore, we're just a bunch of tools who got lucky 2 games in a row! Although with the firepower of Brad Smith, it would have been even more dismal for the useless Pirates. As for the episode with no bases being at the field...Wow. Maybe we can use the president's foreskin for a base next time! Kraz impressed by keeping too busy, maybe it's because he has been getting ass groped by a certain player not to be mentioned.
Yes the fat lady did sing (and it wasn't just another one of Hammer's girlfriends)!!!! With an astounding upset Hell has frozen over. Things are looking on the up and up but let's not get too cocky yet. We're still absolutely and brutally embarassing. How do you spell 'laughing stock' anyways!? At least we had beer this time. Baby steps!
The Squamish Squaws will be practicing today to a sold out track field at Burnaby North Secondary. You are most welcome!! In actuality the only sellout happening is 90% of the team. But we're all there in heart i'm sure. Tryouts for the re-format of the team will be held at the mamquam reservation behind vic harrys old house. Bring the bannock bitch!!
Bradeus' birthday extravanganza
Tyleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeer no Tyleeeeeeeeeeeer call some bitches Tyler, Collins and Doodle are in town, I have to prove myself to them and they are the biggest pimps in the city yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa tyleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeer. They'll probably pick up your roommate rubberbum tyleeeeeer. Come here tyleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeer let me grab you with my club hands tyleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeer. Well if this sounds appealing to you come one come all!
Hammer on 3 day DL
Due to a cold that sucks, Hammer is temporarily on the DL. Maybe it's a good thing he gave up the houseboat. Like it matters anyways because our team is brutal. Corey, Jamie and the crew could do better with a dried up dead salmon and some cedar bark.
Look what I found
Dave Jones, with a brilliant "look what i found catch" was the only highlight of the game. Team meeting minutes conclude using fundraising money to pay teams to let us win due to our highly non-respectable record. Kraz as always kept busy. Johnny 2 hats seemed a bit lost on the bases which sparked a burning and kinda strange and never before seen rage in Mr. Firbank. Oxygen tanks and tazers were needed but the situation got resolved with some chrone and some sauce. Once again Troy Murphy IS a big deal around here just ask Randy. A Brandon Mason car egging will take place this week details to come...
Bald man syndrome
Hair club for men is a possible sponsor for our team. Our team leader suffers from hair loss, pms AND he takes away baseball gloves which also shows slight alzheimer's approaching. Let's have a moment of silence for this sad lonely soul. Well if you are this site you must be lonely . PEACE OUT!