The Schwartz was with us....but it was with our opponents more.

Posted May 26, 2015


The Spaceballs just finished a relatively successful, but ultimately painful four days of ball. It started with a makeup Friday that ended early after an unfortunate incident at the ballpark. An individual needed CPR and emergency services. I'm happy to report that news from the league indicates the individual is recovering nicely at the hospital. Much kudos to those who saved his life. In a three-inning game, the Spaceballs mercied the Slowpokes 12-2.

The Spaceballs, thanks to their awesome reputation, and help from a little Bird, got offered a sweet sponsorship from Average Joe's. It's good to be evil...

The weekend brought some beautiful weather, some cold beverages (at least they were cold for about 30 seconds before the sun blasted them into vapours), minor heat stroke, and tourney number one! Shawna and J-Rock continued their battle for the team RBI lead, while the two Monkeys broke their early season slumps. It was probably the weather. Monkeys are tropical species, after all. The Spaceballs played 5 games and while they only won two of them, they played extremely good ball in four. The only real blemish was a flurry of missed fly balls in game #2 on Saturday. Donaskroob did promise to bring blowing games to new heights and unlike almost any other politician ever, the Spaceballs president is a man (or something) of his word. Oh sure, he wasn't the only one dropping balls, but he's the only one we're going to mention. It's more fun that way. A couple of really good teams, playing some excellent ball were the only things stopping the Spaceballs on Sunday.  At least one of those opponents, Nads, went on to win a division. Also, after beating them on Saturday, it was Nads turn to win anyway. It's the way these two teams roll.  It's impossible to pick a tourney MVP when there were so many different contributors on both sides of the ball, so we'll just say that it wasn't Donaskroob. He was better than Bird, but Bird wasn't there.

Monday brought more nice weather, yet more ball, and old people ouchies. It also gave us one of the highest scoring, longest games in Spaceballs history - a 23-22 win over the Clumsy Ninjas.....who aren't nearly as clumsy as one would assume. I suppose one weapon of the ninja is to mislead...pesky ninjas. They also seemed to walk more than most teams would. I can only assume that's the infamous ninja stealth in slo-pitch form? The second game was a little more subdued, and a little less victorious - an 11-10 loss. Fatigue and multiple injuries from too much ball in too little time really crippled the team in that second game. It's time the team invested in some ice tubs, massage therapists and gingergroin handlers. Gingergroins are delicate, magical things requiring special attention and the team is awash in the lovely things. Sadly, the team budget could only handle a new lady bat....maybe next year. Player of the game for Monday was probably Captain Dark Monkey. His hot streak continued as he tied for the homerun lead and leapt ahead of Shawna and J-Rock for the RBI lead. Not bad for an old guy. Know what else is not bad for an old guy? No seriously, what else? I can't remember yesterday....

Gunner's Mate First Class, Phillip Asshole 



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