COBRAS baseball

Cobras Golf Fundraiser is 6/20 at prestigious New Hope Village Golf Course. Spots still available. Please E-mail Rob Gossard if you would like to play. For more details, click on "Fundraiser" in the left hand boxes.

The Minneapolis Cobras Baseball Club, established 1999, is one of the most successful Class A baseball teams in Minnesota. In the 10 years since inception, the Cobras have reached the State Tournament 8 times, finsihing 2nd in 2000 and 3rd in 2003. The Cobras have players from all levels of competition, and have had several turn professional after playing with them. The Cobras are managed by Rob Gossard, the 4th skipper in Cobras history. Come out and enjoy a game.

6/27-28: Cobras go 1-2 at the very tough Stockmen's Invitational this weekend. Game one pitted the Cobras against the Stillwater Loggers. Cobras get quite a few hits to take a 7-6 lead, but Loggers hit the ball well too, including 37 balls that land within 5 feet of right field foul line. 5 run 6th dooms Cobras as Stillwater wins 11-7. The second game put the Cobras against defending Class A state champ St Louis Park. Clutch hitting and solid pitching from Tyler Miller helps the Cobras win 6-2. Cobras wind up playing Rosetown, in the battle for 5th place. Cobras make 6 errors on the day, but still hold a 2-1 lead late in the game. More errors and a couple of hits for Rosetown give them a 5-2 lead. Cobras trim lead to 5-3 on a Sac Fly by Kevin Truax, but Rob Gossard's liner up the middle with men on 2nd and 3rd and two out in the seventh is snared to preserve a 5-3 victory for Rosetown. The weekend could have easily been a 3-0 success, but it was not to be. Cobras resume action aganst the Lakers and Wesley Homes in league play this week before the July 4th holiday. Hopefully play will continue to pick up.

6/23: Cobras get 1 hit and watch the Warriors yank the ball around the yard all night long. 9-0 loss. Seems as though every year right about this time, the Cobras go through this "we're all hurt and tired and it's too hot and I want to go fishing and my female body part is raw and chapped" phase of the season. Then the Stockmen's Tournament comes up, everybody gets excited about it because they want to hit a home run at little Mcguire Field, and baseball is fun again and the Cobras start winning again. Also, Matty Germar will be making his return from Broken Wrist Land next week, which is a definite positive. 2 good things to take away from last night.
1.) Tyler Miller pitched well in relief
2.) John W. forgot his cell phone so when he came back to the field to get it he and Kahtan (and Kahtan's girlfriend who hides in the truck) brought Popeye's Chicken which was very good. Goose had a food boner. 3 days off and then Stillwater/SLP at Stockmen's on Saturday.

6/22: Cobras lose again to St Louis Park 11-6. Write ups will continue to be short and boring until Cobras decide to win some more.

6/21: Cobras suck worse, lose 7-3. First place slips away for the time being.

6/19: Cobras Suck, lose 5-2

6/17: Cobras beat Commanding Edge 2-0. Zach Strouts pitched 5 great innings even though his arm hurt and Ben Grams finished up. Zach got the first RBI on a terrible call. Luke Foodington got the 2nd RBI on a check swing bunt. Adrian hit a home run that was estimated at 435 feet, and then he fell over. Rob Gossard limped around and defended the Sunshine Factory's mushroomy Philly Cheesesteaks, Mason showed up 20 minutes late eating Noodles, and Ray Noble brought beer, which makes him cool. Cobras get Bombers on friday. Should be an exciting game.

6/13-14: Cobras turn in a solid performance in the Victoria tournament, taking home the 3rd place fictional trophy with a 10-6, 10 inning victory over the Mpls Warriors.

In game 1, the Cobras were pitted against the dangerous Minnetonka Millers. Kevin Truax pitched around 11 hits while only allowing 4 runs. Kahtan Al-Kaissy, who was urinating on the baseball all weekend, drove in both runs for the Cobras. Unfortunately, the Millers responded with a clutch 2 run double in the bottom of the 6th, and took the game 4-2. Pretty well played game all around.

Game 2 saw the Cobras versus the Metro Knights, in their first matchup ever. Thanks to the solid pitching from Ben Grams and Tyler Miller, who wants us all to know that he arrives to games on time unless saddled with Mason, along with some clutch hitting, the Cobras won 4-1. After some mocking of the Knights because they were covering their mouths at a meeting on the mound, no doubt to conceal their secret plans from the scores of hidden cameras the Cobras had placed strategically around the field before the game, the Cobras found that the Knights were a solid all around ballclub.

The third place game matched the Cobras against a familiar opponent, the Mpls Warriors. There was some questioning before the game as to why we didn't just play this game at the cathedral that is Nord' East Athletic Field. The game was a thriller as the two perennial Park National powers traded shots all game. With 2 outs in the ninth, a Mason Reinhart bloop single to right gave the Cobras a 6-5 lead. Warriors answered with a Sac Fly in the bottom of the 9th to send the game to extras. In the 10th, the Cobras took over with a 4 run, 6 hit outburst, to account for the final score of 10-6. Kahtan Al-Kaissy and John Wengenroth had 3 hits for the Cobras, others had two hits, and due to the humid conditions, bats were flying out of people's hands at an alarming rate. Cobras now stand at 12-5 on the year. They will play Commanding Edge on Wednesday, followed by a league game vs the Richtown Bombers on friday night.

6/9: Cobras continue to live dangerously, squeaking out a victory over the Blue Sox 2-1. Few balls left the infield. Nate Broehm and Ben Grams combined for what should have been a shut out if not for the perplexing call at home by everybody's favorite umpire. Dan Thompson and Derek Bartko hit the ball well. Cobras move to 7-1 in league play. Cobras have a few days off before competing in the Victoria Tournament June 13-14.

6/7: Park National Food Drive ends in disaster as a large contingent of homeless people from nearby Parade Stadium ransacks the donation bin. Either that or it was too wet and rainy. I'm getting conflicting reports here. Check back later.

6/5: Cobras lose 5-1 to Victoria. Cobras managed only 5 hits on the day. Pitchers Rob Gossard, Joey Rollwagen, and Tyler Miller, in his Cobras debut, pitched well, but the sticks took a night off. This was probably due in part to a lineup that was comprised mainly of pitchers, FNG's, face babies, and KT. The umpire wore his sunglasses at night. This was not beneficial to his strike zone. Cobras game vs Apple Valley is cancelled tonight, and the blame falls squarely on the shoulders of AV Millers skipper Josh Wigley. Wigley also used to hide his beers in a coat closet so that nobody would drink them. This didn't work for him either. Next up for the Cobras, the Blue Sox on tuesday, 6:15 at Fort Gay.

6/4: The stars continue to align for the Cobras as the beat the Metro Merchants 4-3 in 8 innings on thursday night. Metro put up 2 in the first thanks to a couple of tough chance errors by the Cobras and another in the 4th to take a 3-0 lead. Cobras responded with 2 in the 5th, thanks to three straight bunt singles. Then, in the 7th, Matt Rink's 2 out double tied the game at three. Brian Jensen's liner was snared in the 3rd Base hole and the game went to extra frames. In the 8th, Ted Farni led off with a single and moved to third on a hit and run single by Zach Strouts. Then Derek Bartko hit a Sac fly to drive in the winning run. Strouts pitched 6 strong innings, and new Cobra Ben Grams came in to get the win. Matty Germar was angry with pretty much everyone, but calmed down when he saw people drinking Tallboys and smoking Black & Mild's after the game. Cobras next game is friday vs the Victoria Vics in Victoria.

6/2: Cobras continue their winning ways with a 7-4 victory over the Angels. Rob Gossard made his return to the mound after missing a few games with a tweaked body part and threw three no hit innings. Unfortunately a couple of couple errors and a fly ball lost in the dusk gave the Angels a 4-1 lead after 4 innings. In the fifth the Cobras exploded for 5 runs as they batted around, and in the 6th they added an insurance run for the final score. Nate Broehm pitched the final four innings pick up the "W". Kevin Truax limped around because his legs hurt from pitching, Matty Germar showed up with a much less purple hand in the 5th and instantly evolved into a Rally Monkey, and Zach Strouts whistled so much he distracted his own pitcher. The postgame celebration was relatively subdued. Frost warnings may have had something to do with this. Cobras have a much needed day off followed by a game on thursday with the Metro Merchants at Parade.

6/1: The Cobras opened up June with an 8-6 victory over Wesley Homes. Kevin Truax started his first game on the hill in his Cobras tenure which is significant since it began in 1999. Truax pitched 5 very solid innings, and Kahtan Al-Kaissy pitched the final two for the save. Cobras opened the game with a 4 run first and capped it with a 4 run 5th. After the game, the Cobras enjoyed beer and Australian Liquorice and listened to stories about "Face Babies". Matty Germar's hand was really purple. Angels come to town on tuesday at Parade.

5/29: Cobras lose 16-7. Everything falls apart at the same time, plus Cobras ace Matty Germar is lost for an indeterminate amount of time with a broken wrist which even he described as really painful and kind of gross. Being a baller, he still caught the ball on the dive and showed the umps. Of course this debacle happened against the Lakers who can only be descriped as kryptonite to the Cobras superman-like league record over 11 years. Germar, to his credit, has a bottle of Percocet and an ambitious spirit which will no doubt get him back (at least throwing) sooner rather than later. Cobras have the weekend off to lick their wounds and wish for traffic tickets and pulled muscles to the Laker 9 (actually, thanks to them for being supportive of Matty G) amd will have 5 games in 6 days next week

5/28: The Cobras defeated St Anthony 12-5 last night. Kevin Truax led the game off with a home run and the Cobras never looked back in a game that took a really long time due to many walks. The Cobras walked a season high 13 times against 6 St Anthony pitchers. Ted Farni also went yard for the Cobras. Steve King pitched well thru 4 innings and was relieved by Kahtan Al-Kaissy, and Joey Rollwagen, making his Cobras debut. Rob Gossard tweaked a quad hustling down to first, his status is day to day. Cobras resume action tonight against the Lakers, a team that his given them fits in recent years.

5/27: In a matchup of the last two undefeated teams in the Park National, the Cobras came away with a thrilling 4-3 victory over the Un-Pub. Matty Germar started on the hill for the Cobras, and although he left the bases loaded pretty much every single inning, he still battled and struck out 10. Brian Jensen led the Cobras with 3 hits and an RBI, Rob Gossard had two hits, Luke Beresford hit lasers, and Kahtan Al-Kaissy, who is a big fan of Black & Mild's, delivered a big pinch hit RBI single in the 6th to provide the cushion the Cobras would need. The Warriors loaded the bases with nobody out in the 7th, but a double play and a strikeout ended their rally. With the win the Cobras move to 3-0 in league play. Next up, a nonconference tilt with the St Anthony Hogs followed by a friday league game with the Lakers at Fort Gay.

5/21: The Cobras beat the rats Thursday by a score of 8-3. Zach Strouts went the first 4 and then was replaced by Nate Broehm who went the final 3 striking out 7. Ted Farni went yard, Rob Gossard stole a base and almost tried for a triple, Mason Reinhart rolled on the baseball like Manny, and, thanks to the wonderful Fort Gay lights, Kahtan Al-Kaissy was nearly invisible in the outfield. The Cobras will have the Memorial weekend off, and will resume league play 5/27, with a game against defending league champion the Un-Pub.

5/19: In the opening league game of the year, the Cobras picked apart the Bombers 10-0 in a game ended after 5 innnings. The Cobras opened with a 4 run fourth, all scored after two outs, and cruised from there. Matty Germar pitched 5 solid innings, Matt Rink, Mason Reinhart and Steve King had 2 hits, and Adrian fell over in the parking lot. River Rats are up next.

5/17: In their final tune up before the conference season begins, the Cobras lost to Princeton 7-5. There were a few errors and misplays on the day which allowed the Panthers to account for the majority of their runs. Still, there were positives. Steve King and Matty Germar pitched well, Rob Gossard broke out of his mini-slump with 2 hard singles, and Brian Jensen had 2 hard hit doubles. Thanks to the Panthers for a well played, competitive game. Tell Farmer Fran we're sorry that our fans all brought tiny dogs. We didn't know that "Swede" Field had a moratorium on dogs. Next up for the Snakes, the first league game of the year against the always tough Richtown Bombers.

5/12: The Cobras lost to Minnetonka 3-1 last night. Zach Strouts pitched 7 strong innings on a day where the wind was blowing left to right about 30 miles per hour, allowing only 3 hits to the slugging Millers. Unfortunately, a few errors in the 1st gave the Millers the 2 run cushion they would need for the rest of the game. The Cobras managed 6 hits on the night, 2 by Mason Reinhart, and a double by new Cobra John (Something Unpronounceable but starts with a "W"). Luke Beresford also had some good swings. Nate Broehm struck out the side in the 8th. Billy Ryan shamelessly tried to peddle his wares after the game. Next up for the Cobras, a sunday afternoon tilt in beautiful Princeton, MN with the Princeton Panthers.

5/10: On a brisk Mother's day, the Cobras defeated the Rosetown A's 6-1 in a well played game all around. The Cobras scratched out two runs in each of the first three innings and cruised from there. Steve King made a successful debut, pitching 5 scoreless innings. Rob Gossard came in and finished it out. Ted Farni, in his 2009 debut had three hits and reached base all three times. Matt Rink had two hits, and Mason Reinhart also had two, and he pimped a fly out to the warning track, much to the dismay of the A's catcher. Cobras travel to Veterans Field to take on the Minnetonka Millers on tuesday.

5/7: Cobras start out the season in fine fashion, defeating the St Paul Mudhens 17-3, in a really nice night for baseball at Dunning Field. The Cobras opened up with a 4 run first highlighted by Matt Rink's grand slam. This marks the second consecutive year Rink has hit a home run in his first at bat. Nate Broehm, Matt Germar, and Rob Gossard all pitched well in their 2009 debuts. Adrian did not fall over once, but he did lose a pop-up in the dark. Next up for the Snakes, a mother's day matinee with the Rosetown A's.

5/6: Opener tonight. The Cobras open up tonight against the St Paul Mudhens. We're not sure who's pitching, but we do know that we get new pants.

4/23: Spring training is in high gear. The Cobra nine has been working feverishly in anticipation of opening day. On a sad note, we'd like to announce the retirement of gold glove statistician David Balcer, who, in an impromptu email to the Cobras that surprised even the manager, announced his intentions. Balcer at one time pitched in the Cape Cod League and the Cobras were always frustrated that he never put his entire life on hold to have surgery and rehab his arm. Best of luck Balcer.

2/26: 2009 Schedule is nearly complete. Still working out a few kinks and still have a couple open dates left.

2/9: Interested in scheduling a game with the Cobras in 2009?? Please contact Brian Jensen (brian@eabcinc.com) or Rob Gossard (rgoose23@aol.com)to do so. Many dates still available.

1/19: Adrian news. Adrian was apparently out to dinner with people when someone noticed that Adrian was wearing his sweater backwards. In the mass chaos and mocking that ensued, Adrian fell over. Then he put in a chew and frowned for 2 hours.

1/12: It's like 3 degrees outside and all my baseball stuff is laying out in the garage (except my bats, I'm not stupid) frozen stiff inside my baseball bag, which is frozen to the ground. Still, I can feel it in the air, tickling my nose like a Thai hooker. Baseball season is coming....

12/11: Aron Helm sighting. Apparently, the former Cobra is now trying his luck as a wedding photographer's assistant. Good luck Aron! Try not to look under the brides' dresses anymore. In a related note, former Cobra Lil' Jonny Ras has taken a job as a men's room attendant. His motto? "You'll never have to shake for yourself again." Congratulations to both former Cobras.

10/25: End of year Cobras party was a big success as we roll along looking forward to next year. Rob cooked up some gigantic burgers which made everybody want to go take a nap instead of play poker, but eventually the game got rolling. 2 non Cobras placed 1st and 2nd but Jensen took 3rd while munching on a Charleston Chew and drinking Diet Coke in a tiny bottle. KT saw a large chip stack evaporate due to questionable decision making, Deets was card dead most of the night, and Adrian fell asleep at the table. Rob has numerous Buddha statues situated throughout the house and he had to keep reminding himself they weren't self portraits, and KT brought a tiny dog which he had to go check on every 30 seconds or so. A good time was had by all.

9/29: Quick Note: Have you ever wanted to feel like a foster kid but you never had the opportunity simply because you were raised by your "real" parents? Well your days of wishing are over because all you have to do to feel like a real life foster kid is read any of Bill Nelson's blog on the Minnesota Baseball Website. Bill Nelson's Blog: "Where any Class A baseball player can feel like an unwanted foster kid."

8/27: Congrats to former Cobra Brent Krause who was recently signed by the Milwaukee Brewers AA affiliate, the Huntsville Stars. Krause enjoyed a good year with the St Paul Saints and the Brewers took notice. Former Cobra Lil' Jonny Ras was peeing his pants with excitement over this news.

8/17: Congrats to St Louis Park for winning the Class A state championship in dominant fashion. Former Cobra Dave Lindstrom was named Co-MVP, launching 4 homeruns in the tourney while undoubtedly wearing Vuarnet sunglasses the entire time. Next up for the Cobras: Working, going to college, and eating the occasional hash brownie while hanging in the back of the coffin factory.

Cobras season ends. For the second time in 10 years the Cobras have lost before reaching state. This time it was at the hands of an 11-2 defeat by the Lakers. The Lakers were the best team in this tourney and it showed. They hit the ball well, and they defeated Matty Germar which has been nearly impossible for the last two months. Congrats to the Lakers, they deserve it. Do the Park National proud.

7/31: Cobras lose 5-1. Lakers pitcher does a great job and that's about it. Cobras play better than the 12-9 win. Do or die time at Parade Stadium. Always the most fun of games...

7/30: Cobras beat the Lakers 12-9 in what was a long, fairly sloppy game for both teams. Lakers jumped out to a 9-4 lead after 5 innings but the Cobras rallied for 6 in the 6th and then added 2 insurance runs in the 8th and 9th for the final score. Cobras pounded out 15 hits led by Kevin Truax with 4. Rob Gossard had two doubles, and a host of other players had two hits. Zach Strouts somehow vultured a win even though he started the game. Ted Farni came in and pitched three clutch scoreless innings and then Nate Broehm, fresh from Alaska, closed it out. Tonight the Cobras will try to close out the Lakers and head to State for the 9th time in 10 years.

7/28: Congratulations to the four Cobras all stars. Mason Reinhart is the starting 3rd baseman, Chris Herbert is a backup catcher, Brian Jensen is a backup DH (first we'll have you sit around, then you can sit around and hit) and Matty Germar will pitch at some point. You can point to many other Cobras and make the argument for them as well (although we haven't had stats all year).

7/26: The Cobras beat the Merchants 6-2. Crisp game played. Next up, the best 2 of 3 series with the Lakers. The Cobras split with the Lakers this year in the league, losing early in the season 7-2, and winning 3-0. There was also a game the Cobras won in the S. St Paul Stockmen's tournament 6-3. It should be a fun, evenly matched series.

7/24: The Cobras lost to the Minnetonka Millers 4-1 last night. Zach Strouts pitched a great game. Brian Jensen had 2 hits for the Cobras. Adrian fell over and everybody noticed. Next up, the playoffs playing the winner of the Merchants/Blue Sox game.

7/22: Thanks to the Angels for feeding Goose chicken. He loves food.

7/18-20: Nick Bell Classic, Cold Spring, MN. The Cobras traveled up to beautiful Cold Spring, MN to participate in the Nick Bell Classic for the 5th consecutive year. In the first game of the round robin style tournament, the Cobras took on a familiar opponent, the Rosetown A's. This was the third meeting of the year between the two perennial state contenders, with each team splitting one game so far. The game started poorly as the Cobras fell behind 6-0 but rallied with 2 in the 5th and 4 in the 6th to tie it at 6. Rosetown responded with 5 in the bottom of the 6th, but the Cobras scored 5 in the 7th to knot it at 11. However Rosetown scored in the bottom of the 7th to win 12-11. Adrian was lacing doubles and falling down all over the yard. Kevin Truax had 3 hits. The Cobras walked 11 times, and Matty Germar struck out 4 times and blamed his wrist. Punk ass wrist!
Game 2 found the Cobras taking on the Brainerd Bees. Even though Brainerd is pretty far from Minneapolis, the Cobras and Bees always manage to play each other at least once a year. Nobody knows how this happens. Cobras jumped out to a 1-0 lead in the 1st on an RBI single by Mason Reinhart. Brainerd answers with 5 in the second but then the Cobras put the game out of reach with an 8 run 2nd, started by a Zach Strouts 2 out reach-on-error, and not ending until Strouts, making his 2nd AB of the inning, got out. Final score was 11-5. Derek Bartko had 3 hits. Kevin Truax, David Balcer, Steve King, and Mason Reinahrt had 2.
The final game of the tournament pitted the Cobras against the tournament host Cold Spring Springers, a top rated Class "B" team coming in with a record of 34-3. After the teams traded zeros for 3 and a half innings Cold Spring jumped out to a 3-0 lead on a walk and some well placed singles. In the 5th the Cobras began a big rally. A few walks and hits led to a 3-3 tie, and then Rob Gossard delivered a big blow with a 2 run double to give the Cobras a 5-3 lead. The lead lasted until the bottom of the 6th when Cold Spring scored 3 more runs on a walk and a few more well placed hits to make it 6-5. The Cobras tied it in the 7th on a two out double by Brian Jensen. In the 9th, Chris Herbert's double and Matty Germar's Sac fly brought in the 7th and 8th runs. Cold Spring plated one in the 9th thanks to some questionable umpiring, but could get no more, as the Cobras won 8-7. Cobras had 12 hits on the day. Matty Germar made a nice effort on a foul ball down the right field line and then tried to shamelessly cheat immediately afterwards. Adrian fell onto his back from the weight of a high pop up, but also made a webgem in the 9th (he did have to fall down to make the webgem however.) Thanks again to Cold Spring for hosting a nice tournament. We apologize for being a Class "A" team and making your tournament suck so much more.

7/17: The Cobras closed out the Park National regular season in fine style, defeating Wesley Homes 11-5. The Cobras put up 9 runs in the first three innings and put it on autopilot the rest of the game. Matty Germar pitched a gutsy 4 innings on 2 days rest to earn the win. Nate Broehm made his long anticipated return from injury, pitching 2 scoreless innings to close out the game. He then immediately left for Alaska. Mason Reinhart and Brian Jensen had 3 RBI's each and Kevin Truax scored a Cobras record 5 runs. Adrian fell over at least 3 times, tying a Cobras record he already holds. It wasn't a particularly crisp game by either team but it was a win. Now the Cobras must wait until the cluster of teams in 3rd thru 7th place sort themselves out via tiebreakers and coin flips and rock/paper/scissors and such to find out when they will play their first playoff game. Until then they'll be in Cold Spring, competing in the fabled Nick Bell Classic, which, according to Bill Nelson, used to be much better until the infusion of Class "A" teams. At least he mentioned us...

7/16: The Cobras got up over the .500 mark last night with a convincing 13-2 win over the Blue Sox in a game that was ended by the 10 run rule. Cobras had an amazing amount of baserunners over 5 innings as they plated 13 but also stranded 12. Ted Farni finally got some run support, picking up his first Cobra win. Adrian, not in attendance, fell over at his house. Chris Herbert batted lefthanded and made numerous comments about how pretty the moon was. Next up for the Cobras, the final league game of the year against Wesley Homes at Fort Schnelling.

*****A retroactive note to the monkey: There was no "split" in the lot on monday. You slung the dung right back into your own mouth. Be careful, that kind of slanderous talk can end with you being sent back to Project X.

7/14: The Cobras beat the Angels 8-1 last night. In a must win game, the Cobras pounded out 15 hits, including 7 in a 7 run 5th that saw 9 straight men reach base until Zach grounded out. Matty Germar was more dominant than normal, striking out a season high 11 Angels, with a variety of well located fastballs and nasty offspeed stuff. Steve King is now going to wear #21 because of a dog urine accident. Adrian fell over while doing the book. Next up for the Cobras, the Blue Sox on 7/16.

7/11: Cobras and Homies get rained out. We knew that tornados and thunderstorms were coming our way but we still tryed to play. They shut the airport down before cancelling our game. Game will be made up sometime in the near future. Next up is the 2nd place Angels led by a large contingency of veterans, and a poop-slinging monkey announcer who doesn't like the Rocks.

7/9: The Cobras beat the Merchants 8-1. Matty Germar was dominant on the hill striking out 7 and allowing 5 hits. Adrian began the 5 run third by singling and not falling over. Zach tried to stretch a single into a double and was thrown out easily. Great team effort, next up is the always tough Wesley Homes Homies.

7/6: On a muggy night in the west metro, the Cobras were downed by the Minnetonka Millers 11-1. Cobras scattered 8 hits, 3 by Matt Rink, but were unable to get any sort of real threat going. The Millers hit the ball well, and, as has been the case recently, a big first inning proved too much for the Cobras to came back from. Three things to note:
1.) Adrian nearly fell over after getting hit by a 60 mph curve

2.) The Millers have more players on their roster than the Cobras have had in their 10 year history.

3.) If you spit sunflower seeds on the Veterans Field field, even though it explicitly says don't, a turf monster will try to trip you on your way to first base.

Next up for the Cobras, an important league game with the Metro Merchants on Wednesday at Parade. Try to avoid the homeless people.

7/2: Due to a large assortment of achy breaky body parts, insect bites, and lake monsters, the Cobras were forced to throw together a patchwork lineup for an important league game. It showed, as the Cobras were defeated 7-0 by the Rats. The 7-0 score is appropriate, because that's the score that shows up if a team has to forfeit, and the Cobras were close to having to do that. The Rats did a great job being pesky and annoying, and their pitchers were solid as well. The Cobras did a good job of not getting so frustrated that they punched any of the Rats in the handshake line. Next up, 600 time Class A champ Minnetonka at Veterans Field.

7/1: The Cobras were most definitely paper, and not scissors, in defeating the Rocks 8-2. Matty Germar threw a gem, allowing 5 hits and no walks while striking out 5. The Cobras pounded out 15 hits against two Rocks pitchers led by Kevin Truax's 4. Rob Gossard and Ted Farni each had 3 hits, and Chris Herbert made a ridiculous defensive play, robbing a foul ball while stepping around bats and helmets. It was a pretty crisp game all around. Even the homeless guys in the stands took notice. Next up for the Cobras is the surprising River Rats, who handed away a victory in the two teams first meeting.

6/29: The 3rd Place Game saw the Cobras taking on the perennial state power Rosetown A's where they came away with a dramatic 4-3, 8 inning victory. Rob Gossard was confounding to the fastball loving A's, allowing 3 runs on only 2 hits thru 7 innings, and also swearing loudly on the several instances he threw behind hitters. With the score tied 3-3 in the top of the 8th, Chris Herbert, fresh from the cabin, hit the game winning big fly over the 312 ft sign in left. Kevin Truax came in and closed the game out with a scoreless 8th, and the Cobras celebrated their 3rd place victory by drinking beer and complaining that the bratwursts' buns were too big. Ted Farni had 3 hits for the Cobras and Kevin Truax had two. Next up for the Cobras, an important league tilt against the Rocks. Hopefully the Cobras will play the role of "paper" and not "scissors."

6/28: Stockmen's Irish Tournament: The Cobras lost their first game of the day 9-0 to St Louis Park. St Louis Park hit the ball well, including 2 homeruns and another ruled foul that "even the guy at the pool knew was fair." The game marked the 1 day un-retirement of former Cobra, Dallas "Mustache Face" Helmbolt. Cobras rebounded in the second game with a 6-3 win over the Lakers to propel them to the 3rd place game against some St Paul team. Mason Reinhart had 3 doubles for the Cobras and Steve King (insert spooky music here) had another strong outing. Zach Strouts reached base on an error, Matt Germar went F-2 twice, B Jensen made one of the least accurate throws home in baseball history, and Rob Gossard apologized profusely for being gay.

6/25: Timely hitting by the Pubrriors dooms the Cobras in an 8-1 loss. We need our players to nut up and come to games. Matty Germar was solid again but the Pubrriors did a great job with their 2 out hitting. Brian Jensen had two hits and Rob Gossard had an RBI. Adrian fell over numerous times but was flawless at first. 5-7 won't cut it anywhere. Let's go. Next up, the Stockmen's Invitational Tournament. Hopefully 9 show up vs the always tough St Louis Park team or the Lakers, whoever comes first.

6/23: The June swoon continues. Cobras lose 2-1 to St Anthony. St Anthony plates 2 unearned runs and the Cobras decide today is a bad day to hit the ball. Dan Thompson has 3 hits and Matty Germar reaches base all three times. Steve King (insert spooky music here) pitches well, allowing 5 hits, and also hits lazers that are accidentally caught by St Anthony kids. Next up for the Cobras, a key matchup with the Mpls (don't call me Lyon's Pub) Warriors.

6/21: Golf Tournament was a big success. It was a nice day and everybody had a good time. A special thanks to all that participated in our fundraiser. Also, big up to all the shady characters lurking around the ghetto liquor store down the block from the golf course for not killing me when I went to get more beer after we ran out.

6/20: Ugly. The only way to describe the Cobras 9-5 loss to the Bombers. A 7 run first was a killer. Cobras responded OK and cut the lead to 8-5 but could get no closer. Lil' Jonny complained loudly while guzzling malt beverages from the stands. Lil' Jonny got OE confused with St Ides. Who does that?? Next up, a nonconference tilt with the St Anthony Hogs on 6/23.

6/20: It's 40 night tonight sponsored by former Cobra Lil' Jonny Ras. Last year Lil' Jonny drank a 160 and had a hard time getting out of bed the next day. A note to the various meth addled homeless derelicts wandering around Parade Stadium: You may NOT have a 40 or a baseball.

6/18: The Cobras beat the Lakers last night 3-0 thanks to another dominant performance from Matty Germar. Germar was a little bit all over the place in the first couple of innings, but then he settled down and kept the Lakers confused all night. The Cobras scored all of the runs they would need in the first inning. The first run came in on a botched pick off play, the second on an error by the second baseman, and the third on a Rob Gossard looping liner. Kevin Truax and Brian Jensen each had 2 hits for the Cobras. Zach had a hit so life is good, but also did a lot of bouncing around over by first base which eventually got him in trouble. Next up for the Cobras is a very tough Richtown Bombers squad. Cobras will have to play their best to win.